I stay up as late as I can, pretty much doing nothing, aka fb and cleaning... then when I can't keep my eyes open I go to bed.
If I did it any other way I'd have to many thoughts and feelings that I just don't want to deal with.
I'm bottling things up, and I want to let them out in a safe, healthy way... but I'm too afraid to feel. :(
1 comment:
Amy, I understand this SO much. I don't stay up as late as I can because of work and the demands of my work life....but I have found I ignore my relationship problems by keeping busy and trying to keep my mind off things. Unfortunately it doesn't always work for me at this point....because my thoughts don't stay as distant as I want.
Nights are the worse though...I only sleep for about 45 minutes at a time and spend long lengths of time tossing and turning all night. Last night I woke up at 1:30 and couldn't fall back asleep until 4am....the whole while only able to focus on my problems. This is a normal night for me.
I wish I had some words of advice but like you I am struggling....struggling so much more than I ever let anyone know. No matter the circumstance and whether I can get out of it or not, it hurts knowing how just by how that other person treats us. It's so heartbreaking.....
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