Co-habitating

Well... the person I'm in love with, and who I've been in love with for over half a year now, sleeps in my house. :-P

He cooks... does the heavy cleaning, like scrubbing the shower, watches movies with me... tells me about how work went, asks my opinion about the future. He is moving in November, maybe early December, and according to his plans he won't be back here. Too much work for too little money. I can't say I blame him.

I love having him around. I love my lack of expectations. I get a hug a day, rarely have cuddles... but I feel so content, and happy even.

I DO NOT know how I will react once he leaves, but right now, my heart is full. There is little I desire in terms of attention, love. I feel most of those needs are being met... and now, because my quota for all "that stuff" is being met, I am focusing on my career as a photographer. I am focusing on getting my apartment how I've wanted it for years. I am focusing on being there for my kids and teaching them whatever it is they desire to learn. I am focusing on becoming a part of my community.

I am so completely at peace in the present, that the future doesn't seem scary. I don't feel like I have to plan ahead for a lot of things. I feel like if I do what I'm suppose to be doing right now, the rest will fall into place. It's amazing. I hope the strides I feel I've made as an individual in the past six months aren't for nothing when my love moves away. I really hope that, but instead of worrying about it, I'm just going to keep loving and growing as a person, and I'm going to enjoy each moment as it happens, and not worry about what comes next so much. :)

Oh Gosh

Misquoting a movie here, but...
Our hands fit!<3

I am very in love, and very eager to share that fact with people, but I know how I myself can judge when friends fall fast and hard for people. (I should really work on that.) So I'm waiting to share, but it has been so nice! I LOVE it!!

Not too much else I'm feeling the need to let out in blog form at this moment. :)
*Happy sigh.*

Huh...

I just found out Nayeli's father has orders to Japan... for three years. Seems like getting paternity done beforehand would be beneficial... He won't be around to see her til she's six and there's no way in hell she'll visit him in Japan unless I do too...

And then, this week Jeremy has two 2nd interviews, in person. One company is based out of OK, the other three hours away. So, Austin's dad is the only one I have to "deal" with... and he hasn't been keeping in touch as much lately the past three weeks again. I have feelings, but I'm not sure what they are.

He Loves Me

Saw this as a friends facebook update,

"Sometimes I wish God would just hit the pause button, split the sky wide open, reach down, pick me up, hold me in His arms & whisper "I love you" in my ear."

And I thought, that's how I feel when I hear my name. It's how I feel when my kids say they love me, or smile at me like I'm the most amazing person they've ever seen. It's how I feel when the wind is rushing past me... or I'm in a lake or river and water is going through the spaces between my fingers. It's how I feel when the rain is warm... when I see a shooting star... when I see fireflies. :)

There is so much more that makes me feel exactly like the "pause" button has been hit, the sky has been split open, I am being held by God, being told, and feeling, and knowing that He loves me.♥