Ugh!

I'm coming down with a cold, it's icky. I'm just praying that I don't get Austin sick. On our way home from Northern California, Sam and I got into a small car accident. We were crossing an overpass and a car cut us off. It was raining so the roads were wet. Sam hit the brakes and told me to hold on. The brakes locked up and Sam counter steered us toward and enbankment, we went up it spun around and cam back down. The car almost flipped but we got lucky. Sam and Austin were fine. I got a slight whiplash. Today I found out that Sam may get deployed next Friday. I'll be in Wisconsin when he finds out for sure on Tuesday and I won't be back until after he leaves if he leaves. I'm not too happy about that but there's really nothing I can do. I'm excited to see my family and friends at least.


COMMENTS:
rossbert wrote:

Dec. 31st, 2004 08:32 am (local)

Poor girl.

Look me up when you're around?

All the Madness!

Hello everyone! Incase you haven't heard I had Austin Eric on Thanksgiving. He is a handsome little man and I love him very much. Sam has been great with him, and that's quite a relief. Anyway, right now I don't have much time. My baby is an angel and I love being a mommy. Happy Holidays!

Gone for So Long.

I left Virginia a month ago tomorrow. That is crazy to me. I miss my friends there and I miss the environment. Sure there were gunshots once in a while and weird older men would follow me home from the grocery store, but around here there are gunshots. Granted I'm pretty sure that they're not meant to hit another persom. They're merely for show. Still, I was used to where I was and now I'm not there anymore. And now that I'm starting to become familiar with where I am now I am about to be uprooted again. This time it might not be as traumatic... I'll still be in Cali and the weather is supposedly going to be nicer where I'm going. Oh, and then I can remind myself of the fact that as soon as I start to settle down in my new apartment I'm going to have a baby and everything will be crazy again. What fun this all is. The past few days in Forestville have been quite gloomy. I'm looking forward to when there is sunshine again. I think I'll wait til I have a little more of an upbeat mood to write anymore. I'm just venting. It's great to be able to live different places and learn about our country. Sometimes I just miss stability.

I am what I am.

You're Lili St. Cyr!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sorry, my husbands out, I'm semi stuck and this looked like a fun quiz.  My brother in law took me out for ice cream tonight and I got chocolate delight in a waffle cone.  The rest of my night is going to consist of filling out an apartment application and doing my lesson for bible study tomorrow.  Tomorrow I get to go to bible study and I have a doctor's appointment and I may get my temporary driver's license for CA.  We'll see.

In Cali and Doing Fine... (For the Most Part)

Hey to those of you I haven't said hey to in a while. I'm writing a rushed entry right now because it's my 14 year old brother-in-laws bed time and the computer is in his room. Anyway, the trip to Cali was eventful and long and all that fun stuff and since I've been here my baby has been a royal pain. I've been in the hospital three different times and I have a second doctor's appointment since I've been here tomorrow. Happy birthday Alicia and Julia if you're reading this. I'm sorry I couldn't call anyone. Sam's cell is usually highly guarded and out of my reach, my cell's not in service right now and I don't want to rack up the phone bill for Sam's parents. But yeah, the most I can say right now about the baby is that he seems to want to come early and everyone is doing everything they can to hold him off so I'm on modified bed rest and a bunch of medicines. Oh what fun it all is. I'll write more as soon as I can.

Sometimes Life Hurts.

A little more than a week ago I found out some disturbing information in regards to my husband and his relationship with me. Anyway, two nights ago I didn't cry at all and last night I cried very little and managed to write a poem, but all of it is so stressful. The friends I have that know what's going on all seem to think I'm stupid for staying with him. It's not easy for me to stay with him, but it wouldn't be easy for me to leave him either. I don't know, even the married ones are apathetic to my situation. When I got married though I took MY vows seriously. Even if Sam didn't, I did. And I think that sticking to them would be the only way I could continue to feel like a decent person. If the situation gets out of control I will probably leave... Many people would say that it's out of control now, but I am handling it. I wish that there was a certain way to feel about everything. It would be great to have a book that's a how to on what to feel and when to feel it and also how to react. The movers are going to be at my house in four days. I'm leaving in eight. My friends and current surroundings are going to change and this is a time when I really need security in something. I am SO glad I'm on a "mood stabalizer".


COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:

Oct. 4th, 2004 09:29 am (local)

Wow hun. I don't don't know what's going on, but it doesn't sound nice. :o( If you need to talk, you know how to reach me! *hugs*

(Anonymous) wrote:

Oct. 18th, 2004 08:33 am (local)

It's Michelle Dunphy from FDL here. I'm sorry I haven't emailed you back. Life has been crazy.

I just wanted to check up on you since I don't have LJ anymore..and I saw this entry. Sweetheart, I know you and I never knew each other that well through HS, but from one young wife to another... You can always talk to me. *hug* I'm sorry you're going through a hard time. I hope everything will turn out alright.

vivrelavie wrote:

Oct. 18th, 2004 09:10 am (local)

It's Michelle.

I gave in. I'm back on LJ. But a very private journal with a very small friends list ... so I can keep in touch better!

Time Flys-

Yesterday I got the info for the place I want to move to in Cali. Now I have to fill out two applications and send them back along with application fees. Before I can do all of that I have to print out Sam's LES. (For those of you unfamiliar with the military that is his paycheck stub basically.) Today he has duty so I won't see him until tomorrow. He's got this hella big party planned and the way it sounds there's going to be A LOT of sailors at my house. I'm not especially looking forward to it. I want to see our friends, I just don't want them drunk and stumbling all over my apartment. Anyway it's a day less than a month now until Sam and I are due to be at his parents house. I'm really excited. I feel somewhat unprepared though. I don't even know what day the moving company is coming. The only thing I'm sure of is Sam and I need to be out of our current apartment by October 12th. Ay, ay, ay. I need to take a break and breathe.

The Joys of Moving...

It's that time of year again where I get to check out bunches of apartments and guess which one is in the best neighborhood and will best suit the needs of the Green family. Hurray. :P
I've got just over a month before leaving for sunny California. I'm incredibly excited, but also incredibly stressed. I've got it narrowed down to two apartments. Now I need to make a couple of calls, hopefully get a couple of answers and then I can choose just one! Sam and I aren't fighting anymore,which is wonderful and I have the car for the day, which is also wonderful. I'm beggining to wonder what the heck I'm doing at the library when I'm practiacally starving. I had an appointment at 10:00am and only had a banana and a fig bar before going. I'm very hungry, but nothing really sounds appetizing. What will I do!?!?! I'm sure I'll figure something out. My next doctors appointment is in two days! Yay! I get to drink and icky orange drink and have somebody poke at me. :P Well I think I might go eat. Adios!


COMMENTS:
hypersparkle wrote:

Sep. 16th, 2004 05:25 am (local)

Amy? I don't know if you'll remember me, but I graduated in 2001. I went to Sabish and then Goodrich (well for me) with you! I was involved with theatre a bit through HS. My name back then was Michelle Sullivan (my brother was in your class).
I saw your post on the FDL livejournal and thought I'd get in touch! I'm married now too (been married for almost 2 years...) and I'm in Michigan. :)

yoshi_rose wrote:

Sep. 16th, 2004 08:48 am (local)

Hey Shelli!

I remember you! Are you married to someone from Wisconsin? Where do you live in Michigan? You should e-mail me. :-) It's great to hear from you.

drama221@yahoo.com

Baby Madness!

Right now I'm at Jessica's watching her three little ones and and her friend's little one. I got here about an hour ago and the three oldest are in bed on their way to sleep. I have The Prince and Me to watch and the cute little newborn to cuddle with. Sam stayed at a friend's last night to think and when he came home I believe he apologized the best he knows how. Which is good enough for me. I'm really glad that he did that. We bought a few movies while at the video store, upon Sam's wishes. I don't think we have the money for it, but hey maybe Sam knows something I don't. We had Taco Bell for dinner which is always wonderful. Tomorrow is a duty day and as usual I am not looking forward to that. I know I'll survive, especially since I'm babysitting Jess's kids again, but I really love having him around when he's in a good mood. Alright, I'm going to order some pictures off of yahoo now. :-)

Something to do.

Which movie? by travel_crazy
Username
Favourite colour	BlueRedPinkWhitePurpleBlackYellowGreenOrangeBrownGrey
You belong in
And your co-star should be	summer_mommy
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Life Sucks!

Hey! Don't take my subject as anything horrible, I just haven't been feeling great lately. From reading another one of my friends journal entries and knowing how people around me act I think it might have something to do with the time of year... Maybe. For me it might have something to do with that and it does have something to do with a lot of other things. Due to issues in my relationship with Sam I am incredibly stressed, adding to that is the stress of being pregnant, moving, and being financially unstable. Sure Sam has a regular income but bills are inconsistant and right now we have more than we can handle, at least more than I can handle. I've been emotionally unstable since Sunday, more so since Tuesday. Thanks to a lot of understanding friends I haven't totally lost it, but there's still time. I know everyone has problems and that eventually my problems will pass and I'll have a whole set of new obstacles, but right now I don't like what's set in front of me and I don't know how to deal with it. I guess I'm just surviving and I can't expect anymore of myself at the moment. Hopefully my next journal entry is more upbeat. I apologize to any of you who don't like reading depressed entries, but the fact is parts of life are depressing. At least I feel like there's still some hope for the future. So, all is not lost.


COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:

Sep. 2nd, 2004 05:29 am (local)

I share your sentiments, hun. You're right, some parts of life do really suck, but most of them do pass with time. Once you have that little baby in your arms, it's all going to be worth the hassle. :o)

Running On Low

I was suppose to be done babysitting for one of the two families I babysit for last week and I am scheduled into next week. It's my own fault and it's really not horrible because I need the money and I don't mind helping someone out, but there are reasons that I decided to give my notice. One of those reasons is that I can't sleep the night before I have to watch these kids. Last night I got four hours of sleep, I am a robot. I'm having dinner at the Manning's house for the second night in a row. Sam isn't the happiest with me because I drove our car into a small river... Not really, it was just a road that was incredibly flooded. I failed to notice something amiss and yeah, things that are not suppose to get water in them got water in them. That'll teach me to go out driving during tropical storms. My cousin was born August 9th. It's cool. My baby and my cousin are going to be born the same year. One of my baby showers is this Saturday. I'm SO excited. I'm not really expecting anything. I'm just glad I'll have a bunch of my Virginia friends in one place at one time. Sam hasn't ever really thrown a party inviting a bunch of my girl friends. It's always his navy buddies. Not that I mind them a ton... just a little. Especially last Friday night! They were driving me nuts! Sam decided to invite a "few" people over at 10:30pm and nobody was going to get really drunk or anything, so what happens? There's like 12 people in our apartment, someone waving their knife around outside, and a fridge full of beer and no food. Oy! I shouldn't complain too much. Sam has been great for this whole month, and when I say great I mean helping with housework, seeming interested in me and things having to do with the baby, and other stuff. I've liked being around him. Hopefully the car is fixed soon and he can stop stressing about that. As for me, finding an apartment in Cali and booking hotels along the way is what I need to be worrying about.

**EDIT:(8/16/10)

I realize now Sam was probably SO ticked about the dumb car cuz he was worried about visiting his girlfriend who lived in Richmond, two hours away.  *END EDIT

COMMENTS:
mychrysalis wrote:

Aug. 16th, 2004 05:29 pm (local)

Just so you know, Rocco, Kris, and Renee all agree that it's entirely not your fault that you drove through a deeper-than-you-realized puddle and there is no reason for your husband to be mad at you about it. And your shower will be kick-ass, as much as a baby shower can be kick-ass.

Busy, busy, busy!

Ever since I found out about moving to CA I've been going crazy with planning and things like that. I feel like I got a lot done this afternoon, just from looking up a couple of hotels to stay at and things like that. I still need to find a place to live and I need to get in touch with the people who are going to move my things. My friend Jessica is still on vacation with her husband and kids. It's made keeping up with online things very difficult. Anyway, if I get a chance in the near future to give a good update I will. As for now the computers at the library are about to shut down. Baby is doing well, Sam and I are doing well, I stop babysitting for the family of three next week, I'm having a baby shower on the 21st and Sam and I have planned to leave for Cali on the 12th of October. That's all for now.


COMMENTS:
mychrysalis wrote:

Aug. 7th, 2004 10:56 am (local)

You know you can come over here anytime and use the computer! I really won't mind at all. Have you gotten any RSVP's for the shower yet? I haven't. Let me know when you want to get together to talk about food and stuff. Peace!

To Cali It Is!

Sam got his orders today for Camp Pendleton, CA. We don't know when we'll move yet, but we know where! Tomorrow is my ultrasound, I'm VERY anxious... I've had a good day, nothing too stressful happened so basically I've been chillin'. Tomorrow morning Jessica and I are going grocery shopping, whoo hoo. (Note the sarcasm.) Grocery shopping is such a pain in the ass sometimes. I slept at the most three hours last night, so yeah, I was exhausted today. Sam and I are having some technical difficulties with his bank account... how annoying! I'm in a writing mood, but I can't think of anything to write about. :-P

Happy Me!

I have been pretty happy lately. It's really nice. Things between Sam and I are always unpredictable, but having a new friend who's always around and who is very understanding is making my life incredibly more bearable. I'm watching Jessica's two and one year old right now. The three week old has a doctor's appointment. While babysitting I'm also getting my laundry done. At first I was a little uncomfortable that Jessica seemed so willing to let me do my laundry using her machines, but since I can provide a service (babysitting) I feel a lot better about it. I told her the other night that I feel like I have a roommate. I would like to move to California and be closer to Sam's family, but in a way I would like to stay here because I'm getting used to it, and I have at least one friend who will be here for a couple years for sure at least, and I have jobs here and it's beautiful, to me anyway. I don't know. I guess I'm a little confused about what I want. I just know that I'm really glad to have made a friend like Jessica and I don't want to lose that. Her husband is going to be home on the 24th! I'm hoping that he and Sam click. That would be awesome. Tonight we're going to watch Outback Jack. I saw it for the first time last week and I liked it, and it turns out that she likes it too, so we've made a date. Hehe, last night she and I were looking at lingerie on the internet and when we were in a search engine Sam knocked on the door. It was great timing. Tomorrow I have off and I do believe if it's nice we are going to the pool on the Amphib base. With three little ones that should be quite the adventure. Sam will be on the ship awaiting his orders which could come anytime between the 14th and the 16th. I'm hoping for the 14th or 15th. My ultrasound is on the 16th and I REALLY want him there. Jessica and I are going to the mall on Friday morning. We've also decided that some time we're going to find a babysitter for the kids and dress up and go out to dinner and a movie. We feel that there are not enough occasions where we have to dress up, so we're making one. I'm excited. Another thing we were talking about doing was having a halloween/costume party... either in September or October. Other than what I've written I'm not sure if anything else has happened or is going to happen... One of the three year olds that I babysit for pulled a hot tub cover over him and bashed into the side of the tub. He's got 10 stitches. Five are on his forehead and five are under his lip... Poor little guy. He's tough though. I guess that's probably all for now. :-)

COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:
Jul. 13th, 2004 08:20 am (local)
can't wait to hear about the ultrasound. hope it goes well!

hey stranger
It sounds like you're really enjoying yourself out there. I'm happy for you. I'm sorry that we haven't been able to talk much lately. I hope to talk to you soon. I'm glad you've found Jessica. Luv ya, Kathy

A Little Bit of Something...

Today I got up at 7:31am, showered and booked over to my fairly new neighbors town house. She had a couple of appointments and I felt like trying to help as much as I could with her three kids under three. This chick is 22 and just moved to VA from Hawaii. She and her husband were stationed there but she's no longer active duty. Her husband is in Kuwait, but he should be home in about 15 days. Anyway, I might bring her up again, so her name is Jessica. She's really funny and sweet and fun to hang out with. I have been spending a lot of time with her and her boys since I met her. Actually, today alone I have spent about twelve hours with her now. The other day I got choked up when I was telling Sam about wanting to spend time with her. It seems like it's been a really long time since I've had someone who I felt like I could talk to about anything and hang out with at any time. But yeah, since I'm having such a fun time with her I'm going to get off the computer and hang out. Bye for now.

One other thing, Sam and I are getting along again, nothing was really resolved, but we're talking and being friendly.

Nothing Really...

Your love is...
Your name is yoshi_rose
Your kiss is breath taking
Your hugs are friendly
Your eyes light up a day
Your touch is the only thing I desire
Your smell is amazing
Your smile is hypnotizing
Your love is eternal

A Long Weekend...

Sam is still being a dork. Ugh! He drives me crazy sometimes. He's so stubborn, and while I find that attractive sometimes, I DON'T find it attractive ALL the time. Tonight, if it stops raining, we're going to go out on a boat in the ocean to watch fireworks. I'm very excited. I love the fourth of July. Usually I love it because it means cuddling in a romantic atmosphere, but this year I love it because I get to be by the ocean. I'm quite eager for the 15th to come around. I want to know where I'm going to be for the next while. I don't know if that made sense, or what the true definition of while is, but I know what it means. Anyway I suppose I don't have anything that's very interesting to write about right now so I can go.

My Husband is Broken

Alright, I'm being a little dramatic. My husband's fibula is fractured. He did it a week ago while in a drunk haze and I've gotten to take extra special care of him since then. Yipee for me. So, I babysit four days a week go home and get bossed around some more. The joy of it all. Other than the past two days Sam and I have been doing extremely well and I've been very happy. I figured out that I like being married and after four months of not being sure it means a lot to me to know. My baby is moving around a bit, it's fun to feel the tickles in my tummy. My ultrasound is scheduled for the 19th. I'm probably going to reschedule it though because Sam's going to be underway then and he wants to come. Right now we're at one of his "co-workers" houses and he is drinking again. Oh joy, oh bliss. It's possible that I should have stayed at home. Too late now... I went to Wendy's by myself earlier, it was relaxing. I've got a headache, I'm gonna go.

COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:
Jul. 3rd, 2004 07:08 am (local)
Feeling the baby move is so special. You'll begin feeling him/her move more and more often now and it's truly amazing. I can actually say I miss feeling Maia moving around. It's weird... when I was pregnant, I couldn't wait to NOT be pregnant, and now in some ways -- I actually miss it. I'm still not used to my new skinny belly. lol.

I am a Ball of Stress.

Ay, ay, ay! There's so much on my mind right now and I don't know that the fact that THERE'S SO MUCH is what's bothering me or if it's the weight or whatever of what's bothering me that's bothering me the most. Yeah, try to make sense of that. I'm supposedly suppose to have gained five to ten pounds by this point in my pregnancy. I'm pretty sure I haven't gained it yet. It's not that I'm eager to be fat... well, maybe I am. I don't know. I just want to be healthy for the baby. My friend Alicia called me this morning and informed me that her husband informed her that the USS Stump, the ship Sam, and her husband, Rocco, are on is being decommissioned in October. Which means our husbands will be getting new orders and there is a chance that we have to move. Now moving is not particularly what stresses me. What stresses me that is if we have to move it will be either two months or one month before I'm due. Of course there are benefits to moving, but I'm not sure of the benefits of moving when I'm about ready to pop. I think I need to take a nap. Five hours of sleep and seven hours of work just isn't cutting it for me right now. Oy!

*Big Sigh*

This is Sam's third day gone and I feel like a baby for saying it, but I miss him! I'm incredibly drained today for some reason. I got 10 or so hours of sleep and I don't feel like I can move. It might be the humidity. It's suppose to storm tonight though, so that's something to look forward to. I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to have for dinner and I have no idea. My cabinets are practically bare. I could have a bagel. Hmmmm. I might do that. Of course I might break down and go to the grocery store too. I don't know! Around two I went to the doctor's office because I haven't been able to breathe lately. I was there for about an hour. Five minutes were spent with the doctor. I got to hear the baby's heartbeat again though and that was cool. I haven't felt it move in the past couple of days so I was a little worried. Now I feel better. After the doctor I went to put gas in the car. It was the first time I had done it myself. I think I did pretty well and I am proud. I know I'm pathetic. So from the gas station I zoomed to the NEX for my eye appointment. It was just a check up to make sure my contacts were working for me. I was there for maybe 20 minutes then I bought a box of contacts and left. On my way home I made a deposit at the bank, dropped my prescription off at Walgreens and now I'm at the library. When I'm done here I think it's back to Walgreens and then maybe to the grocery store. The more I think about Sam's and my budget the less appealing the grocery store sounds though. Ay ay ay. Ya know, I thought maybe since I'm not in college I could skip being a poor college student, but I think it's inevitable that a lot of college age people just end up not having a lot of money. Grrr! I suppose time to get on with my day and stop whining.

All I Have Time For

How do you make a 'you'?
Personality cocktail

How to make a yoshi_rose
Ingredients:
5 parts intelligence
5 parts humour
5 parts instinct
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Top it off with a sprinkle of curiosity and enjoy!

Oh yeah, I got to hear my baby's heart beat yesterday. :-)

COMMENTS:
mychrysalis wrote:
Jun. 17th, 2004 09:12 am (local)
liquor and babies ;)
A "yoshi-rose" actually sounds like a yummy cocktail--some kind of fruity, girly drink. And you heard your baby's heartbeat?!? How cool is that?!?

I'm Back

Hey all! I am back in VA and as opposed to as if I had written this Saturday night I am doing very well. I had a nice greeting from Sam at the airport and was stuck to him like glue on Monday, then after he got home from work on Tuesday and then we were back to our normal routine of arguing, which is super annoying. Well, anyway, our spat lasted until late Saturday night or very early Sunday morning. So really we really had only one day of no arguing and now he's underway. Ughhh. I love him like crazy when he's nice, unfortunately he's not always that way. And then I still love him like crazy, I'm just semi-miserable. But it's okay right now, so I shouldn't think about before. I'm having a very fun time with Kathy visiting. It's so great to have her around. Honestly if she lived in VA my life would seem close to perfect. I'm going to go spend more time with her now. :-)

COMMENTS:
hopeathy wrote:
Jun. 12th, 2004 07:55 am (local)
Re: If only...
If only it would be so easy as to move myself like you did. Sometimes I wish I could and others I simply can't. I wish that you would move back to Fond du Lac, but I know that you get sick here and your family bugs you and you love Sam, so I'd never ask you to move back (maybe in jest, but only that). I'm having fun visiting and I hope I can do it again shortly after the baby is born. Much love! -Kathy

Brrr, Cough, Yawn...

I went to the Dr.'s the other day and now I am taking an anti-biotic. He didn't tell me what was wrong but my guess is sinus infection. I went to a roller skating rink tonight and it was fun. I don't think I've done that since 6th grade. My mom and I fight a lot and I don't like being around her the most, I love her but we bug each other. Sam had a party tonight and he was sort of getting on my nerves, but not really and I'm really not quite sure, but yeah. Yesterday night I slept over at my God-mother's house and she took me to Olive Garden for supper, then we went to the mall. I tried on cutesy dresses and they made me feel pretty. It was very fun, it's a shame I have no more proms or homecomings to go to. Before I went to bed I read things out of a book called abnormal psychology and not to analyze myself or anything (because I would never do that) but I had a lot of signs of histrionic disorder. It was interesting. I should stop trying to give my problems a name and just accept them. I'm such a dweeb. I've been coughing so much lately and it's painful, I'm doing all I can though. I'm sorry there's no real point to my journal right now, but I'm tired and sick and I just feel like writing because I'm in a thinky mood and it's my journal so I can do what I want with it... Yeah...

Y	Young
O	Organic
S	Smooth
H	Honorable
I	Intelligent
_
R	Revolutionary
O	Overwhelming
S	Scary
E	Entertaining

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

COMMENTS:
mychrysalis wrote:
May. 29th, 2004 05:47 am (local)
acronym
ha-ha, you're scary. But also entertaining...maybe both at the same time? :) Anyway, I hope you feel better soon!

yoshi_rose wrote:
May. 29th, 2004 12:50 pm (local)
I'll be home Monday. I'm feeling a little better today. Thank you for the get well wish. :-)

mychrysalis wrote:
May. 30th, 2004 02:55 am (local)
Re: acronym
Can't wait to see your "nerdy" self when you get back! Have a safe trip!

I Hate My Moods

**EDIT: 6/29/10
I think this may have been one of the times Sam was in Richmond cheating on me. Yay for intuition. Boo for doing nothing about it.
*END EDIT

I just called Sam, figuring it would be a good time to call him considering he should be done with work and it's not so late that he's asleep, but alas, he was asleep. I thought that he might have called me when he was done working, but he's just not as thoughtful as I think he is sometimes. Anyway he answered the phone all groggy and mumbling and didn't seem to be in a talking mood and I miss him like crazy and want to hear all about his day, but does he ever want to talk? No. So then I say he can go and I'm on the phone waiting for him to tell me he loves me and he hung up. Then I tried to call him back and he wouldn't answer and I got all frustrated and swore at his voicemail and kept calling and eventually his phone started ringing again and he picked up. After that it wasn't so bad except I felt pretty bad for getting so e-motional. We talked for about ten minutes and then I decided to really let him go, but anyway, I hate when I act like that. I hate when I feel so insecure. I know Sam loves me but for some reason I ALWAYS have to hear it. I want a therapist.

What do YOU like and Why?

N.N.=Nickname
M.N.= Middle Name

Ian Bradly Green
Gender: Male
Meaning: God is Gracious
Origin: Celtic/Gaelic
M.N.Meaning: A Broad Lea, Meadow

Julie Beth Green
Gender: Female
Meaning: Soft-haired, youthful
Origin: Latin
M.N.Meaning: Consecrated to God

Colleen Corrine Green
N.N.=C.C.
Gender: Female
Meaning: Irish Girl
Origin: Celtic/Gaelic
M.N.Meaning: Maiden

Genevieve Christine Green
N.N.=Gena
Gender: Female
Meaning: White Wave
Origin: Celtic/Gaelic
M.N.Meaning: Christ-bearer

Katen Michelle Green
N.N.=Kate
Gender: Female
Meaning: Pure, Virginal
Origin: Celtic/Gaelic
M.N.Meaning: Who is like God?

Natalia Rene Green
N.N.=Lia
Gender: Female
Meaning: Born on Christmas
Origin: Italian
M.N.Meaning: Reborn

Winona Rene Green
N.N.=Nina
Gender: Female
Meaning: First Born
Origin: Native American
M.N.Meaning: Reborn

Corrine Rene Green
N.N.=Corri
Gender: Female
Meaning: Maiden
Origin: Greek
M.N.Meaning: Reborn

Emilie Hope Green
N.N.=Emi
Gender: Female
Meaning: Ambitious, Industrious
Origin: French
M.N.Meaning: Trust, Faith

Leona Rene Green
N.N.=Lea
Gender: Female
Meaning: Like A Lion
Origin: French
M.N.Meaning: Reborn

Liam Timothy Green
N.N.=Li
Gender: Male
Meaning: Determined Guardian
Origin: Celtic/Gaelic
M.N.Meaning: To Honor God

Wes Lee Green
N.N.=Wesly
Gender: Male
Meaning: The West Meadow
Origin: German
M.N.Meaning: Sheltered from the storm

Eryk/Erik Austin Green
Gender: Male
Meaning: Ever Powerful
Origin: Polish
M.N.Meaning: Revered, Exalted
Gender: Male
Meaning: Honorable Ruler
Origin: Scandinavian

Kelli Austin Green
Gender: Female
Meaning: Warrior/Defender
Origin: American
M.N.Meaning: Revered, Exalted

William Lee Green
N.N.=Will
Gender: Male
Meaning: Protector
Origin: English
M.N.Meaning: Sheltered from the storm

Austin Thomas Green
Gender: Male
Meaning: Revered, Exalted
Origin: English
M.N.Meaning: A Twin

Kisha Sharon Green
N.N.=Kia
Gender: Female
Meaning: Rainfall
Origin: Slavic
M.N.Meaning: A Flat clearing

Nathaniel Ryan Green
N.N.=Nathan
Gender: Male
Meaning: Gift of God
Origin: Hebrew
M.N.Meaning: Young Royalty

COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:
May. 25th, 2004 07:38 am (local)
My favorites are: Natalia Rene, Emilie Hope, Wes Lee, and Austin Thomas. My advice to you though, don't name the baby with a first or middle name that rhymes with your last name. That just sounds kinda weird and he/she may get made fun of for it when he/she gets older. :o)

enattendant wrote:
May. 25th, 2004 11:15 am (local)
I have to say I like all the Celtic/Gaelic ones, but that's probably typical of me. However, Nathaniel and Kisha are cool names too.

rossbert wrote:
May. 25th, 2004 12:02 pm (local)
Hmmm, I had forgotten about Liam, I liked that name.

Ross
Meaning: From the pennisula
Origin: Scotch Gaelic

Baby Overload

> WARNING

yoshi_rose is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

Alright, I just talked to Kathy and she asked me which cartoon character I liked best out of a big list and I said Dora and she said, "What if it's a boy." How gender dividing is our society? I like Dora! Then she said, "Okay, I'll just get a generic baby thing, and she asked if I wanted spoons or divided dishes with covers. I couldn't decide. Small decisions like that shouldn't be difficult. There's so much to think about as far as the baby coming goes and my brain is not at that stage yet. I'm sure I'll be the same way with it (getting stuff for the baby) as I am with everything else... Procrastinate until the last minute and then get everything done. It's a system that has worked for me my whole life. I got a bunch of maternity clothes from my aunt... Somewhat excited news but a little weird. I'm thinking when I take it home I'll hide it from Sam so he doesn't freak out. My pants are getting a little tight, it's annoying. I'm excited for my next Dr.'s appointment. It is June 16th. I don't know if I've said it yet, but perspective due date for baby is December 14th. I'll write more soon.

COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:
May. 25th, 2004 07:23 am (local)
December 14th! Yay! Our babies will only be about 6 months apart :o) And hey -- Dora isn't too girly either. There was a little boy at the doc's office when I was there this morning and he said his favorite character is Dora. So there then. lol.

Sick of Home and Home Sick

It might sound a little crazy but the deal is I'm home visiting my family. When I say home there I mean, where I grew up, And as much as I love spending time with people I haven't seen in quite a long time I miss Sam and the comforts and familiarity with the things at my home in VA. I've been back since 10:00am on Friday morning and I've done some fun things, but I haven't slept hardly at all and I'm stressing about not being able to spend enough time with everyone I want to spend time with. Today I've decided to see if Sam calls me. When he and I talked yesterday I started crying because he didn't seem interested in what I've been up to, and I felt that I was acting too interested in what he's been up to. Anyway I hate acting and feeling like I don't trust Sam, and I hate that I ask him so many irrelevant questions. I want him to call me, I miss him a lot. He got me flowers before I left. I had my first prenatal visit on Wednesday and he came with me, then he went back to work. When he got home I opened the door for him and he was standing there with a bouquet of wild flowers and he said "Here, I heard you were pregnant." It was very sweet and it made me very happy. It's flooding very badly in Wisconsin right now. It's created some excitement for my visit. Last night I went out to eat with my mom and her boyfriend, and a couple of there friends. Afterward we all went to see Troy and then we went to a place called "The Mine-Shaft." It was a cool bar/arcade/club place. I dunno, it seemed like a Shakeys for grown-ups. It was cool. I got to ride with my moms boyfriend's ex-boss. He's a 37 year old and he has a black 81 Sting Ray Corvette. He and I got along quite well and talked like crazy. After we played at the arcade for a while he and I drove around and talked more. I love making friends. Some of the things I've got planned while I'm still here include spending a night at my god-mothers, hanging out with a group of friends, going to my brothers chorus concert, going to another movie with my mom, going to my cousins grad party, and going to the zoo with some friends. My grandparents also want me to spend a night with them but I see no perspective date for that. Ay! It's nice to feel so wanted. I need to go write out a schedule. Chao for now.

COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:
May. 23rd, 2004 11:44 am (local)
I hope you're having fun, Amy! Sorry that your visit is so rainy. I hope this shit stops soon. I'm sick of the rain. All of the rivers are so high. It's nuts :o) So when's this little baby due anyway???

Sleep Deprived.

I think I've slept six hours in the last sixty hours. Yeah.

I am woodstock for a peanuts character: an incredibly unique person who values originality and loyalty above all else. I'm supposedly always where the fun is and never lack for friends. I also like to try new things.

And as far as the sign of affection that I am goes... I am a cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed.


Shadow. You are an angels made from shadows. You
wings are powerful beyong mortal understanding.
You love to hide in shadows, and are a natural
at night. You enjoy showing mortals whose in
control, and won't hesitate ti hurt someone if
they really start to bug you. You are old, and
will continue to live for many years more.
Longer than any given person. You are agile,
quick witted and sharp. You enjoy putting
people down, and can communiv=cate with the
nights soul, as you do the shadows.

You are an angel that has been cast out of heaven,
and thrown to the earth. Almost being killed in
the process. But what doesn't kill you makes
you stronger, right? And the same rule applies
to you. When you suffer, it only makes you more
vicious, and powerful. You are an impressive
beinf. One never to be trifled with. You hate
all normal angels for this. You drink their
blood, to get back at the heavens that rejected
you.

Congrats, you are very smooth.


What Type Of Angel Have You Become?
brought to you by Quizilla

Computer Crazy!

Hey, sorry I'm playing around with pointless quizzes and all right now. I've been deprived of a computer since I moved to VA and now I'm in WI at my moms and I'm having fun. Yay!

"Which American City Are You?"

Orlando
You are sunshine and playtime. You just wanna have fun and nobody can drag you down.

"Auto Identity"

Sports Car
You like to live the high life, and dwell on admiration, and like to show your stuff. You need a car that gets second glances, goes fast, makes you look good, and is fairly new.

I don't get this one:
"Your Psych-Ward diagnosis"

Antisocial Personality Disorder
Diagnosis: AntiSocial Personality Disorder, marked by the following: Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviours as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest. Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead, Irritability and aggressiveness, Reckless, Consistent irresponsibility, Lack or remorse, Indifference.

But my results were:
Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (You scored 0)
Antisocial Personality Disorder (You scored 1)
Anxiety Disorder (You scored 1)
Autism (You scored 0)
Bipolar Disorder (You scored 1)
Dependent Personality Disorder (You scored 0)
Depressive Personality Disorder (You scored 1)
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (You scored 0)
Paranoid Personality Disorder (You scored 0)
Accute Stress/Post traumatic Stress disorder (You scored 0)
Schitzophrenia (You scored 0)
Social Anxiety Disorder (You scored 0)
Schizoid Personality Disorder (You scored 0)

How Inspiring...

You are Inspiration Soup!! You live to Inspire
those around you with your green beany, white
chunky, red soupy goodness. Many have come and
lit candles in your honor. You've inspired
them to become better people. Thank you,
Inspiration Soup... thank you.


What Weight Watchers recipe card from 1974 are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I am a... What?

You're a Weeble. You Wobble but you Don't Fall
Down. It must be hard getting picked on all
the time and never doing anything about it...
pussy.


What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Happiness Is...

Hi! My subject title is a junior high school flashback. In eighth grad our school play was "You're A Good Man Charlie Brown." I never really liked junior high, but I guess there were some good times.

I had a really funny dream last night. It was my fourth sort of out of the ordinary dream I've had since I've been pregnant. It's not so much that it was out of the ordinary, it's just that it was very real. I've had two about the baby, one about the ocean, and then the one last night. *Heeby Geebys Shiver* It wasn't bad, exactly, it was just odd.

Sam and I have been getting along since Mother's Day. That is super cool to me. I love when he reminds me why I love him, and it seems to be happening more and more.

I had a lot of cleaning that I wanted to get done today and I didn't do it. So... I either have to do it when I get home tonight (I'm at Alicia's) OR I have to do it tomorrow. Having the apartment "spic and span" is one of the things on my list of 20 Things I Can Do To Make Me Happy. As strange as that may seem, I guess it's just a part of me.

I talked to my aunt and unlce that live in MN tonight. They are very nice and funny. They're going to be in WI the first weekend that I'm home. I'm SO excited to see everyone. I can't stop thinking about it. I haven't talked to Kathy in two days and I miss her. I know she reads this sometimes so I feel funny saying it, but I wish she would write more in her live journal. That way I can learn about her and her life even when I can't always talk to her.

Today I hung out with a married couple I recently befriended and they got internet service. It really doesn't seem that hard and I REALLY want it. Ay, ay, ay. It was my fourth time spending time with them. I figured out that the two wives I am becoming attatched to out here have A names, Alicia and Angelica. Angelica is mexian and her name is pronounced Ann-hel-E-ca. I like saying it. She and her husband are from California. Alicia's name is pronounced Alisha. Some people say it wrong and it bugs her. It would bug me too. Anyway, both wives have best friends named Renee. I had a friend named Renee, but she moved away and we haven't really talked since then, but I have a wonderful best friend named Kathy as all of you who read this already probably know.

I feel a little anti-social right now, even though I'm not trying to be. There are two couples in the other room, but I'm just typing away. Thoughts have been racing through my head a lot lately. I've been writing a lot. I don't know what's up, maybe it's just the pregnancy.

I'm going to go join the festivities while I still have time. I think I might be talking to Kathy shortly and I want to be a good guest for the time being. I like my friends out here... I like all my friends.

COMMENTS:
mychrysalis wrote:
May. 15th, 2004 10:44 am (local)
Alicia
You're right. I blame Alicia Silverstone for the fact that lots of people pronounce my name "A-lee-see-a", which sounds kind of snobby, if you ask me. Plain old "Alisha" will do just fine for me. And I'm glad you're happy.

mychrysalis wrote:
May. 15th, 2004 11:04 am (local)
dreams
Here's a link to an article about common dreams to have while you're pregnant:

http://www.americanbaby.com/ab/story.jhtml?storyid=/templatedata/ab/story/data/17808.xml&catref=AB492

summer_mommy wrote:
May. 17th, 2004 07:47 am (local)
The weird dreams are definitely pregnancy induced, Amy! lol. I have freaking weird dreams all the time and they just drive me nuts! :o) Can't wait until you get here! I miss you!!!

I'm a Manic Maniac

Okay, maybe I'm not manic, maybe I am. Maybe this is just a normal good mood. I wouldn't know. I was moody before I was pregnant, I'm even more moody now, and I don't know if my moods should be considered normal or abnormal. While in Wisconsin a Dr. prescribed Depokote or something like that, because she thought that I might be bipolar. I'm not sure if that makes me bipolar though. Anyway, I'm up right now, which is wonderful. I didn't sleep more than 3 hours last night, I worked all day and for some reason I'm ready to go! Maybe it's the overtiredness. Maybe it's because I feel that I had a good day and I learned things, and Sam and I have been getting along lately. Maybe it's because I'm leaving for Wisconsin in a week? Maybe it's all of the above and some other things added in. I don't know. All that I know is I am very happy right now and I like being happy.

I filled out all the paper work online for my first prenatal visit which is next Wednesday. Sam got off for it so he's coming with! I'm terrified and excited. I am 11 weeks today. Oooh, aaah. Right... My sister-in-law sent me a pre-baby book baby book. It's a planning calendar.

I'm hungry.

I got lucky at the library today because whoever was signed up for 3:30pm didn't show so I got to sign up for four and take the person before me's spot. I checked all of my e-mail, filled stuff out, and saved pictures to my yahoo photo album... I feel so fufilled... Gosh I'm amused and satisfied easily.

I don't think anyone will listen to me on this, but my mother-in-law just sent me a book called Fascinating Womanhood by Helen B. Andelin and I'm up to roughly chapter three, I think it's excellent and I'm sure I'll write more about it in the future, but if you're married, or not married-- If your a chick you could probably get a lot out of it. I'm very excited to read more.

I need to e-mail my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law, so I'm going to go while I still have time! Bye for now!

COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:
May. 14th, 2004 01:28 am (local)
Yay! Prenatal visits are so fun! lol. I'm in the stage where I have to go every single week now though, starting Tuesday. But then again, on Tuesday I will be 36 weeks so I guess that's to be expected. :o)

Sam's a Meanie!

Sam's emitting a jerkyness tonight so I'm at a friends house right now I don't feel the best and I really don't feel like writing about it, so I'm going to use lyrics to describe how I'm feeling...

"Looks like I've lost my will to carry on, my friend" she said
And you can hear it in my whispered cries for love
I need your blissful touch to carry me away again
Cause I’m broken when I’m open And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away
I wonder if you're listening Picking up on the signals Sent back from within
Sometimes it feels like I don't really know whats going on
Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here
Should I bite my tongue? Until blood soaks my shirt?
We'll never fall apart Tell me why this hurts so much...

COMMENTS:
mychrysalis wrote:
May. 7th, 2004 03:11 pm (local)
::hugs:: for Amy. Boys are stupid.

summer_mommy wrote:
May. 8th, 2004 05:27 am (local)
*hugs* I feel like that too sometimes. At times I wonder if men weren't just put here to make our lives miserable.

Ugh, and Yay and Yay, and Ugh

Yesterday night I got really bad cramps and called the hospital to see if I should do something about it. No one there was really much of any help. My husbands mom, Barbara and my sister-in-law Mary were of great help though, so at least I had them. My cramps started at 10:30pm and didn't really stop until 5:30pm tonight. But for now they have subsided and that's a good thing.

I found out that Sam made 3rd class which is totally awesome since there was suppose to be like no chance that he'd make it. I'm so proud of him. We got along yesterday except for one little blow up by me before we went to bed, and I think he's forgiven me for that.

I went to Dairy Queen just before I came to the library and I met a nice young navy man and his wife. They are Henry and Angie and Angie is pregnant. She is due to have a baby boy on July 26th... That's Sam's birthday. Anyway, I got their phone numbers and they got mine. They live fairly close and were very nice to have ice cream with. Henry talks just about as much as me and Angie was quiet but she seems sweet. I am excited to call them or to hear from them again.

I have a phone date with Barbara at 8:00pm my time tonight. We probably won't talk much because Derek (my brother-in-law) has a baseball game. I really miss Sam's family. I have only spent two weeks with them in person but they are very kind and fun people. I'm so excited to visit Wisconsin. I'm almost afraid that I'm too excited. I hope the weather is nice and that I stay as busy as I'm planning on staying.

I'm really not sure how some people seem to write forever in this journal. I actually have time today and I can't think of that much to write. I mean, if I had internet access at home it might be different because then as things surfaced in my mind I could write about them. When I come to the library it almost feels like I'm under pressure to write and then I can't think of things to say.

The other day I called a "help hotline" and the conselor told me that I should get therapy for my low self esteem. I think it's funny how sometimes I can emit a great amount of confidence and be a very happy and social person and other times I want to be a hermit and have nothing to do with anyone or anything. I think a part of it lately, like since I moved to Virginia has been that, even if I make friends it's not like I can spend time with them every time I want. It's not a horrible thing, in fact it's a part of life. Sometimes though it gets frustrating because I have a husband who likes me around when he's around and other female friends that I aquire have husbands or boyfriends too who expect the same from them. I'm not saying Sam would hate it or have a problem with it if I hung out with other people once in a while, I'm just saying I feel obligated to spend time with him when there is actually time available to spend with him.

Tomorrow I work and I'm excited and nervous at the same time. Ethan and Matthew tired me out very quickly, especially when the weather is nice, and being pregnant doesn't ease my exhaustion. I'm trying to figure out a way to keep them happy and me comfortable. I guess I'll just have to see what comes up.

There's an interesting website I want to check out it's something like http://www.adaa.org and it has to do with anxiety. I saw it advertised on the 12 o'clock new this afternoon.

Tomorrow night I plan on watching the friends finale. Ever since I started watching the show I don't think I've ever seen any episode in sequence. I always find it playing on the re-run channels, but tomorrow I plan to watch the final episode right along with everyone else. Even though I never really watched it faithfully I still really enjoyed the episodes that I did catch and I'm a little bit sad over the fact that the series is coming to an end. Hopefully I can get the collection on DVD, then it won't be such a loss.

My first appointment with my OB-GYN is on May 19th. Mary, my sister in law asked me to get one set up sooner but I don't really have the minutes on my cell phone to do that right now. I had planned on going to a pay phone, but I didn't feel like moving until after 5:30pm tonight and the office was closed by then. I think Sam may come with me, he hasn't requested off yet, but I think he still has time.

Oooh, I took film to get developed today. I should be able to pick it up after I'm done babysitting tomorrow. I also get to pick up my little brother Isaiah's birthday present and mail it to him. His birthday was last Sunday, but he's a nice understanding brother who understands that my husband got a speeding ticket which caused unexpected expenses. Someday I'll make a mistake that costs Sam and I $100 or so and then I won't be able to talk, but until then... bwahahahaha!

COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:
May. 6th, 2004 03:27 am (local)
lol... for someone who doesn't know how to go on forever, that was a pretty long entry!! :o) I can't wait until you come visit! You'll get to see my big baby belly before I shrink back to normal :o) How long are you staying for anyway?

Good luck at your OB appointment. They're always *loads* of fun. haha. I have to start back with my internal exams starting the 18th. I'm just soooooo thrilled. Or not. Oh well. Anything to keep baby healthy!

Some of My Strengths

VIA Signature Strengths Survey

Here are your scores on the VIA Signature Strengths Survey. For how to interpret and use your scores, see the book Authentic Happiness.

Top Strength
This is a Signature Strength for you.
Date: May 4, 2004

Fairness, equity, and justice Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.

On this strength, you scored as high as or higher than . . .

99% of all Web site users
99% of all female respondents
99% of all 18 to 20 years old
99% of occupation group HM
99% of all with some college
99% of those in Zip Code 235xx


Second Strength
This is a Signature Strength for you.
Date: May 4, 2004

Appreciation of beauty and excellence You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.

On this strength, you scored as high as or higher than . . .

90% of all Web site users
88% of all female respondents
92% of all 18 to 20 years old
89% of occupation group HM
89% of all with some college
84% of those in Zip Code 235xx


Third Strength
This is a Signature Strength for you.
Date: May 4, 2004

Curiosity and interest in the world You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery.

On this strength, you scored as high as or higher than . . .

87% of all Web site users
87% of all female respondents
93% of all 18 to 20 years old
90% of occupation group HM
90% of all with some college
89% of those in Zip Code 235xx


Fourth Strength
This is a Signature Strength for you.
Date: May 4, 2004

Social intelligence You are aware of the motives and feelings of other people. You know what to do to fit in to different social situations, and you know what to do to put others at ease.

On this strength, you scored as high as or higher than . . .

96% of all Web site users
95% of all female respondents
95% of all 18 to 20 years old
96% of occupation group HM
95% of all with some college
93% of those in Zip Code 235xx


Fifth Strength
This is a Signature Strength for you.
Date: May 4, 2004

Bravery and valor You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.

On this strength, you scored as high as or higher than . . .

91% of all Web site users
90% of all female respondents
89% of all 18 to 20 years old
93% of occupation group HM
89% of all with some college
88% of those in Zip Code 235xx

Time For Me

I've decided to take my last five minutes at the library and update my journal. I've been putting it off lately to read about other peoples lives but today I want to write. I'd love to read and write, but unfortunately I don't have the time. For those of you who read this and don't know yet, I'm pregnant. I'm sort of sick of trying not to write about it. I think maybe I'm my own worse critic, I just know that people could say bad things and I don't want that. I want it to be a happy time. If I can have a positive outlook then other people should be able to too. Anyway, I only need to worry about the happiness of my and my family members. I DO worry about the happiness of others but by saying what I said I didn't mean that I didn't. I'll stop speaking in riddles. I had a really nice day yesterday. I watched a bunch of TV and cleaned and got chicken strips from Papa Johns, and talked to family memebers on the phone and bought prenatal vitamins and finalized plans to come home for ten days at the end of May. I got a little over four hours of sleep last night and went to work at seven-thirty this morning. They day has been going really fast. I had a lot of fun babysitting today. I'm going to be getting an extra day every week and after I have the baby my boss says that I can come back with it. I'm excited. Gotta go.

COMMENTS:
rossbert wrote:
Apr. 30th, 2004 12:41 am (local)
Have you starting thinking of names yet?

summer_mommy wrote:
Apr. 30th, 2004 01:22 am (local)
Well I know I already said this on the phone, but congratulations hun! Have you been to see an OB yet? That first trip is always so much fun. haha.

You're coming home at the end of May?? You'll definitely have to come see me! By then I'll only have 3 more weeks or so until the baby is born so you'll be able to see me in all of my humongous glory. lol.

It's A Good Day!

Alright so I've had good days since last Thursday but they haven't really been good in the sense that today is. Yesterday Sam and I had a serious conversation after about an hour of me moping around. He is seeming supportive and that makes me feel SO much better. Today I got to sleep in, which was deliciously nice after having to work two days in a row. Oh I know I'm a whiner when a lot of people work more than two days in a row, but I've been babied since I've been out here. Speaking of babied... Sam did ALL of the dishes yesterday, it was so sweet of him because I hadn't done them in a super long time. (I hate doing the dishes) I think since Easter we've been doing very well, and I almost hate to admit it because I don't want to jinx us. Hey, I watched Chitty Chitty Bang Bang for the first time yesterday. It was funny... There are "little" kids screwing around at the library right now and it's annoying. I feel like a humbug for saying that but I wouldn't be annoyed if they were playing in an environment where playing was appropriate, and they're old enough to know better. I'm really hoping Sam will call me before my time is up at the library. I wore the wrong kind of shoes to do so much walking. I might have to go bare-foot home if he doesn't call me and then I might cut myself, and it's already been said that I'm a whiner. Hmmm- Other than the serious something in my life... Well, I don't know if my bestest bud is avoiding me, but she didn't call last night and she usually does. It's not like I usually talk for long when Sam's around, but ya know I married him for a reason and it has to do with liking his company and when he's home I can do that. When he's not home I love to be social, and sometimes when he is home and we're having our differences I also love to be social. Alicia, you know what I mean. (Hey- By the way I miss you!) Anyway, since Sam and I have been getting along more often lately I haven't seen or talked to a few of my friends in a while. Oh, I know I'm being lazy by not e-mailing this but Kathy- if you come to visit in the first two weeks of June Sam's going to be gone for five days while you're here. Thought you might like to know that.- Well I've got five minutes and more that I want to look up. Chao.

Blb Blb Blb...

I really have had no motivation to write in this lately. I mean, I guess the motivation to write in it is there, but then when I have the blank screen in front of me my mind goes blank. I guess there's a lot that I could talk about, but I have to talk to family members before I tell more non-family members. I'm terrified. I really shouldn't be the few family members I have told have been really supportive. Ugh... I don't even know how Sam feels about anything because I'm too afraid to bring it up. We've been getting along better than normal lately and I'm afraid that if I bring up something so serious it will ruin that. It's been in the 80's/90's since Saturday. I love the weather but it sure does make me sweat a lot. Soon I get to go home and see if Sam and I have to pay a $500 fine to the DMV. Oh joy, oh bliss... I had a horrible dream early this morning where I was screaming and screaming and throwing a huge fit but nothing was going my way... Hmmmm... I am seriously bewildered.

COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:
Apr. 22nd, 2004 12:21 pm (local)
Don't worry hun... things will get much easier once you tell people. It pulls a huge weight off of your chest. If you need to talk, you have my number. Oh and I wanted to mention too... I don't have free long distance on my cellphone, so it'd actually be better if you call me. I don't know if you have free long distance on your phone or not, but I can't really afford to be paying the however many cents per minute charge to call outside of my service area. Bleh. Let me know and take care.

A Little More Happy

My grandparents are in VA visiting me. Yesterday we went to the botanical gardens and to the beach- and to the driving range. I got a sunburn. It was fun. At the beach I played in the ocean, which I love very much. Today Grammy and Grandpa took me to Walmart to get my glasses fixed, now they don't have duck tape on them anymore! Soon we are going to VA Beach to visit some souvineir shops. Sam has a full physical today. He should be done with it by now. I hope that he's alright. He has to have blood work and he doesn't like needles. I am a very thirsty person it seems lately. Water is good, and I never really liked it before. Other than shopping today we might all go to the zoo. It should be fun. It's suppose to be in the upper 80's. I plan on actually swimming today! Grammy and Grandpa's hotel is right on the ocean!! They're leaving tomorrow which is going to bite. With them here it feels like really home, sort of like they've always been here. Grandpa is somewhat impatient, I think he wants to leave. I'll write again when I can. I've got a bike now so it should be a lot easier to get to the library.

COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:
Apr. 19th, 2004 05:36 am (local)
I'm glad you had a good time with your grandparents! That's really nice that they came to visit. Virginia sounds like a beautiful place. Strangely enough, it was about 85 here earlier in the week already. I was dying 'cause I didn't have any summer maternity clothes yet. lol. I was expecting it to reach 80 degrees so soon. Now it's in the 50's. I shall never understand Wisconsin weather.
Take care!

Ay Ay Ay-

**EDIT: 6/29/10
I think I must have just found out I was pregnant with Austin, either that I was researching things at the library and freaking out.
END EDIT*

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And that is how I feel!

COMMENTS:
crying_heart_02 wrote:
Apr. 16th, 2004 08:03 am (local)
I am sorry u feel that way amy.. I have thoughs days more then once. Blah. so i know how you feel.
katie.

summer_mommy wrote:
Apr. 16th, 2004 01:31 pm (local)
That sounds confusing. :( Hope you feel better soon.

mychrysalis wrote:
Apr. 16th, 2004 04:16 pm (local)
::big hugs:: don't worry, I know you'll figure it out. I'm praying for you!

hopeathy wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2004 03:48 pm (local)
Do what YOU want to do, not what someone else is telling you to. Either way, I'm still here for you.

Owy!

I've got a headache. Sam came home early today, which is wonderful. We had a nice day yesterday. Um, I'm sure there's a bunch I could write about but this headache is very distracting. I'll write again when possible.

COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:
Apr. 12th, 2004 07:01 am (local)
Awww! I hope your headache goes away soon. Glad to hear that you had a pleasant Easter too. Take care.

I've Had Better Days

Okay, so this morning Sam and I were all cooey cuz we had a nice night last night and okay so I said, could you call me when you get home from work (I just wanted to know when he was home so I had something to look forward to when I was done working) Anyway, at around 1:30 I was told I could go home and Sam hadn't called yet. I said I'd stay a little longer and that I didn't need to get paid for it because if I left I'd just be at home by myself... So I went for a walk with Juliana and Ethan. I decided to call Sam when I was getting a little annoyed by the kids running very far ahead of me and trying to pick their neighbors flowers. To my surprise he answered and I was like hey, how are you? and he was like i'm good and then I asked him if he was done with work and he said yeah i'm home and then I asked why he didn't call me like he said he would and he didn't answer, and then I asked again and he said that he had a couple of buddies over and then I hung up on him. I went back to the house where I babysit and the mom was like, I can pay you, and I said it didn't matter and then she said let me call the kids dad to see when he'll be here. (He gets them for a little while before Easter.) So she called him and he was on the street, so she didn't need me anymore. So I angrily drove home accelerating whenever possible. I tried to get ahold of Shannon but I guess he must have been working still. I was hoping that he'd be at his apartment and I'd have somewhere to runaway to. After that plan failed I was going to visit Alicia. But then I thought what if the people she works for have a couple extra days off for Easter? I didn't want to get her in trouble so that idea was out. Then I thought, well I can just go to the library, but I wanted to go home first because I knew I didn't have any e-mails and I wasn't sure what else I would do. I wasn't in a journal mood really. Oh, my other option was to go to the driving range, but my excuse for not doing that was I was nervous about going on base by myself. Alright, I got home and slammed a couple things around when I first walked in, that was after seeing Sam in his pjs and two strangers in my house. Then I went to my room and started reading. Now for my main point or thought. (I bet you didn't think I'd ever get to it.) I was reading the book "Why Am I Up, Why Am I Down" and it's about bipolar disorder. I have a lot of the symptoms, not to admit that I'm crazy or anything, but then again some things just don't fit. But a couple things that really caught my attention were the following;

-people with bipolar disorder often can't control their moods
-sometimes the onset of a manic episode is like a seizure
-people who are involved in the creative arts are more likely to have bipolar disorder

And then there was a list of things that can lead up to bipolar disorder and I, like a lot of people, have experienced a lot of things on the list. Right now though, as sad as this may sound I feel like I'm freaking out. I can feel the blood going through my body I'm shaking, sort of on the verge of a nervous breakdown but not quite and I don't know how to calm down. If I didn't have to save money I would go shopping and I know that would help.

Today when I was babysitting I swept and did dishes. It kept me busy. It was a lot easier than my five hour cleaning escapade in the apartment yesterday...

I need a friend.

COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:

Apr. 8th, 2004 07:03 am (local)
Sorry I'm not there to give you this... *big hug* I find that cleaning keeps me occupied too. Yesterday, I was feeling really restless and I just started walking from room to room looking for things to tidy up. My dad was shocked when he got home from work. lol. But some girls have told me it's anxiety about the baby -- I guess a lot of expectant mothers have that. *shrug* I don't know. I hope you start feeling better soon!

Love yas!

hopeathy wrote:

Apr. 8th, 2004 01:40 pm (local)
You have a friend.
I wish we lived closer so that when you got like this I could be there for you. You know that you can call me any time day or night. I can't fly down there at the drop of a hat, but I will be there for two weeks in June. I don't know what to tell you except that you can always count on me. I'm here for you. Call me if you want to. -Kat

No Time

Well, Sam had PT this morning and now he has the rest of the day off, we came to the library so I could take care of our phone plans and make us have less bills. I have two minutes left and I should still check the bank account, but I wanted to write. So finally yesterday Sam and I started getting along again, it wasn't until 8pm but that's better than it never getting better. Today has been wonderful and I hope it stays wonderful, but things can change in the snap of a finger. We're going grocery shopping after I get kicked off the computer. I think that he's going to go to SAR school for a month, I'm going to be SO lonely. Anyway, I really do need to check the bank account now. Someday I'll have the internet at home.

COMMENTS:
hopeathy wrote:

Apr. 7th, 2004 04:17 pm (local)

Someday...
Someday we'll live near each other and neither one of us will have to be lonely. Until get into one of my moods and bring us both down. But that doesn't happen all that often. Two years? In how many years? *sigh* I guess we'll just have to wait. I'm hoping that you and Sam can get along while he's home so that if he does have to leave for a month, it will be in good terms. I hope that you continue to enjoy your new job and keep making new friends. As long as you don't forget the old, we're good. :P Talk to you soon! -Kat

Work!

That's right, I wrote it... WORK. I did it today! Babysitting is/isn't work. It is work because there are two little boys who take a lot of energy to entertain. Not that I have to entertain them, but I figure since I have them I might as well enjoy them. When I got to the house where I'm babysitting every Thursday and every other Friday the five year old little girl, Julianna, was crying, then her mom had her tell me this morning there was an elephant in her backyard and i said "really?" and she said "april fools!" Then she wasn't crying anymore. And, before she went to school she gave me a great big hug and said that she hoped she'd get to see me after school.

Kelly, the mom, got home roughly around two. I was at the house until 3:30. First of all she had to bring in groceries and then she asked me to wait 15-30 minutes longer so Julianna could see me. It was no problem. Matter, 22 months, and Ethan, 3 years, are SO sweet and cute. When I say sweet I mean little devils that can't be left alone, but it's all good. I adore them.

So, other than work, my friend Shannon called me in the middle of the day, it was an unexpected surprise and Sam called me around 3pm, but I missed the call. He said he might need a ride home. I'm waiting for him to call again. We were suppose to go to Cali for a few days to celebrate his mothers birthday, but he is stuck here waiting to find out if he's going to get sent to SAR (Search and Rescue) School in Floride... for a MONTH! Arg. His family said I could live with them for the month, but I have WoRk... SO I wouldn't be able to stay that long, ahh, but time in Cali sounds delicious.

The weather around here has been horrible. Rain and Clouds for the past five days. This place is suppose to have warm weather. I still love it here. Well, I should go, maybe I'll go home and clean before Sam gets there. I can work on being "the good wife." -I'd rather watch Pocahontas.- Guess that shows where my maturity level is... hahaha. Chao!

COMMENTS:
yoshi_rose wrote:

Apr. 1st, 2004 07:45 am (local)
Typo
His name is Matthew, not Matter.

mychrysalis wrote:

Apr. 1st, 2004 10:08 am (local)
Yay!
I'm glad you like your new job. Sounds like you are going to have your hands full!

summer_mommy wrote:

Apr. 1st, 2004 11:28 am (local)
I'd rather watch Pocahontas than work, too. lol. But then again, now that I'm getting big... my feet hurt so bad that I would rather do anything than work.

hopeathy wrote:

Apr. 1st, 2004 11:36 am (local)
I'm glad that you enjoy your new job. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to watch a Disney movie. I personally wouldn't choose Pocahantas, but that's okay. lol I'll call you later to catch up on all the details. Luv ya!