No Words, in other words Lots of Babbling/Venting

;slakeut[oiwu4. as;lt. grrrrrr. Some people... sometimes. Ugh. I had this girl/friend/whatever and we get along really well, or a least we did, and i forgot to tell her i wasn't going to be around when she thought i was... i apologized and tried to be there as much as i could, but she did not accept. Then I deleted her from my MySpace friends list. Well I guess even though she had completely shunned me before I deleted her I still had the power to tick her off. So now, her husband can't have me on his friends list. But she can still have my husband on hers. I feel like such a friggin high schooler. This is the exact reason I did not date guys that went to my high school. (For the most part) Now I have to deal with it in my adult life and nobody is acting like an adult!!!!! Maybe I should just take a deep breath and forget about it. I have plenty of friends who aren't on my "friends list" and they are still just as much my friend now as ever. I hate my oversensitivity! And sometimes people bug me... Then there's people like Ali. (Hi Ali) Nice, caring, nice. I like nice people. There's really not too many of them to be honest. It seems like everybody either wants something or doesn't REALLY care about you, just what you can do for them. I'm lucky, I have a few friends who are truly friends. My problem is I start out thinking everybody is truly a friend and then they let me down once, then twice... the number of times varies and then I figure out that that person is not really my friend. It's a sad realization and it's hard for me to let go of the person, but it is better for me to let go than to get continuously hurt by someone who really doesn't care if I'm in their life at all. Gonna be home in two days. Got to see most people I wanted to, not Jen though... don't have her number at the moment... and not the lady that babysat me for nine years, I'll have to try to do that within the next couple of days. I'm excited to go back to Cali. It will probably be more relaxing than it is here, and I can actually feel useful because I will actually be useful. Sam called to talk last night. The conversation went pretty well but I got irritated at something and said some stupid things. I think he's forgiven me though. I'm not sure, but it seems that way b/c we spoke tonight and I think he's going to call me again later. Hopefully that conversation will go better. :-D Got my fingers crossed.

Good News

I think I use my journal for venting too often so I've decided to write a message of good news this time. Today... well actually yesterday afternoon I took a ride to meet my scrap booking lady, Lynne and I got to see a little more of the town I live in. Anyway, it is far more gorgeous than I had ever imagined. The entire town is nestled in coastal hills. There are tons of flowers and orchards and there are so many different kinds of trees and cacti. As far as wild life goes I've seen Prarie Dogs, Squirrels and several different types of birds. I know there are also Coyotes, and who knows what else...

So, Sam is letting me play with a little bit of our tax return money and I've decided to spend some of it on scrap booking materials. Hence the new "scrap booking lady" Lynne. Lynne is a wonderfully sweet woman with five children. (Leslie, 14, Ellen, 12, Sarah, 8, Jack, 5, and Sam, 1) The two oldest girls look like clones of their mother and the little boys are SO adorable. The middle girl was at a friends so I didn't get the chance to meet her, but I plan on attending some scrap booking workshops and I will more than likely see her at one of those. Or perhaps I might see her at church, which leads me to my next subject.

Lynne and her family go to a Presbyterian church near where I live. I'm not exactly Presbyterian, if I had to call myself something I'd be Lutheran or Methodist, but I can adapt, and going to a church where I know someone more than myself has great appeal. I think Lynne is a really neat person and her family seems very nice so I don't imagine that "her" church would be bad. I guess I'll see how it goes for a while.

Sam has been back home this week. Our anniversary is Sunday and I'm really curious as to how it will work out. I'm really to anxious about the whole thing and it only stresses me out so I know that I need to relax. Things have been rough since he's been home. It doesn't seem like we've found solutions to any of our problems, therefore we keep having the same problems again and again. Maybe I should say I keep having the same problems again and again, I really don't think Sam cares about much. And I know he doesn't give as much thought to the things he cares about as I do to mine. Hopefully we can find a common ground and things can be peaceful.

Tomorrow I am going to go to the gym with my friend Rachel. We went to a club last week Wednesday and met a couple of cool guys and I stayed in contact with the one I danced with. The two of them might meet us at the gym tomorrow. I'm glad I actually found someone to be friends with. I might be naive for thinking that I can be friends with a guy and he's not going to want anymore, but Joey (that's his name) seems really understanding that I have a husband and a child and I that I am doing everything in my power to make things work with my husband. Joey is a Marine that recently got back from Iraq and is going to be out of the Marine Corps within the next week. He's originally from Texas... Lynne is originally from Indiana.

Tonight I talked with my "friend" Russell from Blockbuster. He's a really nice guy and we bumped into eachother outside of the video store once, it was actually quite odd. We met at the county clerks office in San Marcos, about 40 minutes from where we live. Anyway, all the people at Blockbuster are nice. If I wanted an outside job I'd definately apply there.

I suppose I should go. I plan on getting up and ready to go to the gym in six and a half hours.

**EDIT:(8/16/10)

Laughing my behind off at how naive I was.  WOW!!!  I'll try to give myself a little credit by mentioning I was just under 20 years old and still working to be the best wife possible.  --I don't even remember the "boys" I mentioned here.  My jaw dropped actually when I read that I stayed in contact with someone I met at the club my first time going out.  I must have just got the number b/c no calls were made and Rachel and I definitely didn't meet up with anyone at the gym.  I don't even think we ever went to the gym together.  *END EDIT