Co-habitating

Well... the person I'm in love with, and who I've been in love with for over half a year now, sleeps in my house. :-P

He cooks... does the heavy cleaning, like scrubbing the shower, watches movies with me... tells me about how work went, asks my opinion about the future. He is moving in November, maybe early December, and according to his plans he won't be back here. Too much work for too little money. I can't say I blame him.

I love having him around. I love my lack of expectations. I get a hug a day, rarely have cuddles... but I feel so content, and happy even.

I DO NOT know how I will react once he leaves, but right now, my heart is full. There is little I desire in terms of attention, love. I feel most of those needs are being met... and now, because my quota for all "that stuff" is being met, I am focusing on my career as a photographer. I am focusing on getting my apartment how I've wanted it for years. I am focusing on being there for my kids and teaching them whatever it is they desire to learn. I am focusing on becoming a part of my community.

I am so completely at peace in the present, that the future doesn't seem scary. I don't feel like I have to plan ahead for a lot of things. I feel like if I do what I'm suppose to be doing right now, the rest will fall into place. It's amazing. I hope the strides I feel I've made as an individual in the past six months aren't for nothing when my love moves away. I really hope that, but instead of worrying about it, I'm just going to keep loving and growing as a person, and I'm going to enjoy each moment as it happens, and not worry about what comes next so much. :)

All the Madness!

Hello everyone! Incase you haven't heard I had Austin Eric on Thanksgiving. He is a handsome little man and I love him very much. Sam has been great with him, and that's quite a relief. Anyway, right now I don't have much time. My baby is an angel and I love being a mommy. Happy Holidays!

Happy Me!

I have been pretty happy lately. It's really nice. Things between Sam and I are always unpredictable, but having a new friend who's always around and who is very understanding is making my life incredibly more bearable. I'm watching Jessica's two and one year old right now. The three week old has a doctor's appointment. While babysitting I'm also getting my laundry done. At first I was a little uncomfortable that Jessica seemed so willing to let me do my laundry using her machines, but since I can provide a service (babysitting) I feel a lot better about it. I told her the other night that I feel like I have a roommate. I would like to move to California and be closer to Sam's family, but in a way I would like to stay here because I'm getting used to it, and I have at least one friend who will be here for a couple years for sure at least, and I have jobs here and it's beautiful, to me anyway. I don't know. I guess I'm a little confused about what I want. I just know that I'm really glad to have made a friend like Jessica and I don't want to lose that. Her husband is going to be home on the 24th! I'm hoping that he and Sam click. That would be awesome. Tonight we're going to watch Outback Jack. I saw it for the first time last week and I liked it, and it turns out that she likes it too, so we've made a date. Hehe, last night she and I were looking at lingerie on the internet and when we were in a search engine Sam knocked on the door. It was great timing. Tomorrow I have off and I do believe if it's nice we are going to the pool on the Amphib base. With three little ones that should be quite the adventure. Sam will be on the ship awaiting his orders which could come anytime between the 14th and the 16th. I'm hoping for the 14th or 15th. My ultrasound is on the 16th and I REALLY want him there. Jessica and I are going to the mall on Friday morning. We've also decided that some time we're going to find a babysitter for the kids and dress up and go out to dinner and a movie. We feel that there are not enough occasions where we have to dress up, so we're making one. I'm excited. Another thing we were talking about doing was having a halloween/costume party... either in September or October. Other than what I've written I'm not sure if anything else has happened or is going to happen... One of the three year olds that I babysit for pulled a hot tub cover over him and bashed into the side of the tub. He's got 10 stitches. Five are on his forehead and five are under his lip... Poor little guy. He's tough though. I guess that's probably all for now. :-)

COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:
Jul. 13th, 2004 08:20 am (local)
can't wait to hear about the ultrasound. hope it goes well!

hey stranger
It sounds like you're really enjoying yourself out there. I'm happy for you. I'm sorry that we haven't been able to talk much lately. I hope to talk to you soon. I'm glad you've found Jessica. Luv ya, Kathy