Damnyouautocorrect

I'm still in the same clothes I had on at work yesterday. But laughter is the best medicine, right?

Wes Beavis, "Think the best of life and people, don't waste time thinking feeble. Make your mind behave the way of who you want to be one day. Think success before the fact. Let it shine through word and act. Visualize who you will be. Thinking shapes your destiny"

Cool quote, but what I really like is his name... Wes Beavis... Almost as cool as Wendy Wallace, Bear McReary, Hazel Oats and Mable Pickens.

12.8.10: She Wants to Touch Me

Besty watched the kidlings today while I did a photo shoot. Saw 30h!3 on my way home... The rest of the evening we talked about many things, one of them being, if we found the band, they would be ours. And we would be each other's. lol. :-P

12.9.10: "I look like I'm' dying..."

Besty came home grabbing her neck, saying she died. lol. Good times.

11.?.10: Great Big Kansas

There's nothing quite like driving around with a Besty at sunset. :)
We got some adorable pics and it was pretty good music and conversation as well. There are probably plenty of times like this that will forever be unmentioned, just b/c we've done it enough... It's special every time though. I'm glad I have someone to share it with me. :)

11.?.10: Drunk as %$&#

We know how to put it down!
Tonight we went to B&K and had a few... or five, at least, drinks.
I started with Patron while you while the besty used the bathroom... By the time she came back my face was numb and my arms were following.

A little bit later I was apparently making out with a guy "from" New Zealand.
Of course we had to go back home, and a certain ex-boyfriend was there... Not a good mix. I went temporarily insane and, of course, the besty took care of me. -Her and her loyal ways.- ;-)

Then we cuddled and fell asleep. ;-)

Still Here

I have been doing a lot of writing with pen and paper lately. It's not about my thoughts feeling safer there, it's about having a place that's just me. I write differently, sometimes, when I know people are reading. Lately I have just needed to have an uninhibited stream of conscious.

I have been processing a lot lately. One of the conclusions I've come to is that I feel I process too much. :-S I am always planning and analyzing... Generally I'm just over thinking EVERYTHING.

I'm sort of tired of it. I don't think it's bad to think things through and grow as a person but I sometimes thinking so much completely hinders me and doesn't allow me to grow. I'm too preoccupied with hypothetical futures that I can't enjoy the present a lot of times. :-S I miss out on things as well. I don't want to miss out on life.

I'm okay at living in the present with my children. I avoid my family for the most part, because they are always pressing me to think about the future, too much for my comfort. I am completely picky with my friend/friendships partially because I can have a hypothetical future in my head and run the course of a relationship with it... but also because of my over analytical mindset. I read into everything, and I'm not always willing to go to my friends to straighten out what may be a miscommunication. I take things as I see/interpret them, often become wounded, don't want to give people a chance to hurt me more, and then I move on.

Wow, I just fell asleep for a couple minutes while I was writing this... I don't think I'll get my stream of thought back...

Point though...
I am working on just living... Not analyzing as much... Not having to label everything or have everything mean something...
It will be insanely difficult, because everything does mean something to me... I don't know if it will get me where I want to be, or where I should be... If nothing else, maybe it will help me relax a little more in life.