Apology.

screams of lust we cry
tonight you are everything to me
you're everything...
you're everything to me no more
as I wake from this perfect dream
I'll escape from Eden's walls
can I not stay and live this lie?
go away and I'll think only of myself

and to think that you would not be scared or surprised if I'd severed all these ties
this is the end...

I'll lose myself in anguish for tonight
help me get over you
one last false apology
help me get over you

I feel so numb to see this bitter end of beautiful illusions...would this be the same?
broken pieces will not mend to save our past now...go away...

I'll lose myself in anguish for tonight
help me get over you
one last false apology
help me get over you

now we must let go
urgency overwhelms me as I must restrain my flood of tears
I refuse to be slave to your false beauty again

I'll lose myself in anguish for tonight
help me get over you
one last false apology
help me get over you

Something to Smile About.

I passed my driving test!!! -Got 12/15 allowed wrong, all having to do w/ speed issues, but I am still a legal driver now! God knew I needed something to go right. lol. God does more for me then letting me pass my driving test, but still... Okay, I've gotta go take notes for Sociology. Take care.

I am what I am.

You're Lili St. Cyr!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
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Sorry, my husbands out, I'm semi stuck and this looked like a fun quiz.  My brother in law took me out for ice cream tonight and I got chocolate delight in a waffle cone.  The rest of my night is going to consist of filling out an apartment application and doing my lesson for bible study tomorrow.  Tomorrow I get to go to bible study and I have a doctor's appointment and I may get my temporary driver's license for CA.  We'll see.

Calgon Take Me Away...

Ughhhh... Why are people such pains in the butt? I was going to say why are men such pains in the butt and then I realized, just as much as any man is one, in particular Sam, I am just as much of a pain.

I think that we need time away from each other, not a lot of time, but enough to clear our minds maybe. It's not that I want time away from him, it's not like I have a choice even, but none-the-less, if we end up being apart for a few days, it's probably for the better.

For once I am not at the library, my friend Alicia (hi Alicia) is letting me use her computer. It's nice to be out of the apartment and not dwelling on the fact that I don't know if Sam is coming home tonight or not. Fights are so stupid, and they're always just miscommunications blown out of proportion.

I wish I could visit Wisconsin for a week or two. I miss my friends, and the little kids I had the pleasure of watching. I have a job now! There's not much of a point to write about it, because most of the people that read my journal already know, but anyway, now it's documented.

I hope that there's a thunderstorm tonight. It seems like around here hard rain for a few hours is considered a thunderstorm. Only once since I've been out here have I seen lightening.

I have finished two books since I said I wanted to find something I actually enjoyed reading. They are The Ultimate Personality Guide, and What No One Tells The Bride. I am in the middle of Why Am I Up, Why Am I Down. Ah yes, how I yearn for knowledge...

I suppose, time to pull myself away from the computer. I forgot how addicting these things can be if there's no time limit.

I Need a Hobby

First I'm going to write about yesterday, the 29th of February. It was a gorgeous day in Norfolk, I went for an hour walk, scouting out my neighborhood and surrounding areas. There are a lot of roads around here that lead to nowhere. And it seems there's always some lake or river, or other body of water in the way of where I want to go. I think I need a canue... Ah yes, so, I went for a walk, talked to family and friend and then night came and I watched a good portion of the Oscars. I miss the good old days where things were more exciting. Today... Well, last night... couldn't fall asleep for anything, I was woken up by my phone, I felt rushed to get ready and then I was thrown into a social situation, which didn't turn out to be too bad, but it made me miss home and people I know. Then I got super stressed for really no apparent reason and that's where I stand now. I wish I understood myself! Someday I suppose. I have to end my entry now, so my husband can talk to his friends and family... I need a hobby.