Neglected...

I'm feeling neglected which is never any fun. Sam was gone all weekend, Friday morning to Monday morning, and had work all day Monday. When he got home from work he pretty much shut himself in the bedroom... I was around him for an hour, and that was just watching parts of Lion King 1 1/2. Today he worked late, came home, didn't come in for like an hour and a half after he got here, then popped in DVDs and shushed me every time I tryed to start a conversation. After the movies he got on the computer and I tried to talk to him, but every conversation was a dead topic. It seems like no matter how hard I try or don't try I can't get him to communicate.

Alright so, Sam won't communicate with me and I don't live by anyone that I've known for an extended period of time and the person that I'm closest to out here other than Sam is in the process of being on a two week vacation, so I'm going nuts with no sense of intimacy with anyone on the "talking in person" level. The phone is one thing, real live human interaction is another thing completely. 

I truley dislike this lonely feeling. The less attention Sam gives me the more I yearn for someone who will completely adore me... That makes sense and yet I'd think that over time I'd get used to being ignored and brushed aside. *Sigh* I dunno, maybe I'll figure out how to achieve happiness without Sam constantly being nice to me, still it would be nice to be shown some affection, I mean, I'm his wife, right? A hug a day? A kiss a day? I dunno. Maybe for him that's asking to much. :-P


COMMENTS:
summer_mommy wrote:

Mar. 16th, 2005 09:38 am (local)

I think for a lot of guys that's asking too much, unfortunately -- especially for the communication part. For some reason guys are intimidated by talking. Why? It's such a simple thing! Don't worry. It annoys the crap outta me when Chon does that too. Maybe someday they will learn to be nice to us!!! Take care and I hope you find some good interaction soon, hun. *hugs*

mychrysalis wrote:

Mar. 16th, 2005 11:33 am (local)

I'm sorry Sam is still being difficult. Always remember that you do have the right to be happy and if you feel you need affection, then you do. You never have to settle for less than you need. With that in mind, I'm sending big "Auntie Alicia" hugs your way.

vivrelavie wrote:

Mar. 16th, 2005 06:09 pm (local)

*hugs* Have you ever gone to Boards.WeddingChannel.Com? They have a Newlywed (and even for not-so-newly weds like me) board. In that board, there is a sub board for emotional support. I think you should go there. I don't want to be a downer, but Amy, it isn't fair for you to feel that way so often. Once and awhile is one thing, but I am worried about you. I know we never knew each other too well, but I still care. Please visit that site. Have you two talked about marital counseling? It might help open the path to more communication and affection. It's great for good days and bad. :)

*hugs* again.

I Hate My Moods

**EDIT: 6/29/10
I think this may have been one of the times Sam was in Richmond cheating on me. Yay for intuition. Boo for doing nothing about it.
*END EDIT

I just called Sam, figuring it would be a good time to call him considering he should be done with work and it's not so late that he's asleep, but alas, he was asleep. I thought that he might have called me when he was done working, but he's just not as thoughtful as I think he is sometimes. Anyway he answered the phone all groggy and mumbling and didn't seem to be in a talking mood and I miss him like crazy and want to hear all about his day, but does he ever want to talk? No. So then I say he can go and I'm on the phone waiting for him to tell me he loves me and he hung up. Then I tried to call him back and he wouldn't answer and I got all frustrated and swore at his voicemail and kept calling and eventually his phone started ringing again and he picked up. After that it wasn't so bad except I felt pretty bad for getting so e-motional. We talked for about ten minutes and then I decided to really let him go, but anyway, I hate when I act like that. I hate when I feel so insecure. I know Sam loves me but for some reason I ALWAYS have to hear it. I want a therapist.