Reflection

Ugh.
I don't know what I'm like, or what I like, or what I want?
I like my kids. :)
I like taking/editing pictures... It's a creative outlet. I like creative outlets.
I like going for walks.
I like some tv shows.
I like funny people, but I like the right kind of funny, and just because I like funny doesn't mean I am funny. I can be funny, but it needs to be the right circumstance.

I feel so blah.

I don't know what I have to offer, or if I have anything to offer.
I don't think that thinking about offering anything to anyone is going to make me a better person.

God is who I'm suppose to care about pleasing... and I do, and I don't?
Sometimes I focus on pleasing myself/finding pleasure in things.

I feel like I deserve it? Why? What have I done in my life to deserve pleasure?

Anyway...

My heart is hurting.
I feel so angry with Jeremy.
He went out... as the "DD" for Julia's birthday. I suppose he just wants me to hate him? :-(
I sort of am starting to, since he doesn't care at all.

I don't want to hate anyone. It hurts. I hurt.