My Day Isn't Getting Any Better

I feel numb. I really, really don't know what to do, or how to do it. I can't give up on Sam's and my relationship, but I am so miserable right now. Time apart would just make me see that I'm okay without him. I know I'll be okay without him, and I know he'll be okay without me, but this isn't high school. We're not just going out, we're married and we have a baby. Sam is really good with Austin, and I know Austin likes being around him. I would feel cruel to take them away from each other, but I can't imagine not having full custody of Austin, or not being able to spend all day with him. I think I would be miserable. I know once Austin is in school I'll have to be away from him a little bit, but I want to live with him until he's old enough to live on his own. I want to be able to tuck him in every night and read him bed time stories and give him baths. I can't think about this stuff. I wish everything was just magically better, or at least I wished Sam would just care, more than enough to simply come home at the end of the day.