I talked to Sam today. I was fine until that point and then I broke down, and I couldn't talk to him about it because me having feelings would just end up ticking him off. I dunno, it might not be so hard if he hadn't at one point have been almost everything I wanted... Now when my visit from WI is done I'm just going to go home and live the typical unfun life that he and I have been living for quite some time now. I admit there are some fun things in our current life together. At least they're fun for me. I love when we're both playing with Austin at the same time and I get this little warm feeling. Really, other than that, the only fun time is maybe when we're on a long drive. For some reason we always seem to get along better than fine on those. He's having a really good time with his family and friends right now... He never seems to have fun with me. He has plenty of fun with his friends when I'm not around, but I am like anti-fun to him--and when I feel that way he's anti-fun to me. Except I can't get away from him. When we're apart I can't forget that I miss him or wish that he could be sharing in my fun. I don't know how to make it better. I don't know if it will get better. I just wish and hope and want and dream and long for it to happen. Sometimes doing those things helps, other times it does absolutely nothing.


COMMENTS:
pink_daisies wrote:

Jun. 8th, 2005 12:14 pm (local)

When are you coming home Amy?

yoshi_rose wrote:

Jun. 9th, 2005 07:34 pm (local)

late @ night on the 11th... 2 days!!!