Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Flip Flop

I was in a really strange mood for the past two weeks and then, like Saturday I was all of a sudden okay. Now things are getting stressful again, but not for the same reason. I don't know why I was stressed for a two week stint. It was the first time Sam was home since I've been in school and I'm pretty sure it was just the being a mom, wife And student that was getting to me. I mean, I never stopped being a wife while Sam was gone, but I didn't have to think about giving him attention or making him happy. I got to be a little more egocentric, and I enjoyed it. I think I was sort of holding the fact that my attention was divided between even more things when he got home against him. I knew he had done nothing wrong though, so it's not like I got mad at him, just peeved at myself. And now, after I had gotten things sorted out on Saturday, we're getting into these petty arguments that turn into big deals. We're going in for an assesment on Monday, it's a pre-marriage counseling thing that the Family Advocacy Center does out here. Oh joy, oh bliss... Austin is standing up on everything, and on his eight month birthday he started saying dada. It's SO cute! He's so entertaining. Sam lowered his crib tonight because this morning when I went to get him out of bed he was standing up. (I don't want him to fall out of bed!) Sam's birthday was yesterday. I made him breakfast in bed. It was fun. I don't think I've ever done that for him before. Most of the day was great, he had work, I had school, but we got along between my classes... Unfortunately after sociology is when we got into the argument. Oooh, I don't have any tests for sociology for the next two weeks. I do have a paper due this coming Tuesday though. I also have a spanish paper due that day. The spanish one I can handle. Soc. shouldn't be impossible either, but finding the time to get it done might be. I have new pix of Austin on http://www.myspace.com. My username is amyrose221 or you can just find me by typing in yoshi_rose@hotmail.com, if you wanna see Austin anyway. :-) I guess the only other new news I have is cable was installed in my house today. It's the first time I've had it since moving from home in November 2003. Wow.


COMMENTS:
pink_daisies wrote:
Jul. 29th, 2005 06:46 pm (local)
I'm so sorry, It turned out that Friday became the most hectick day of my week. It thought that it was going to be a free day, but it turned out I had a million things to do for my vending machines, and then when I finally got home I was so tired I didn't even want to think. I will call you tomorrow; Saturday. Hopefully you'll be interested in doing something/ and free. Sorry sorry.
yoshi_rose wrote:
Jul. 31st, 2005 03:26 pm (local)
Hey-Don't stress over it, things come up. I appreciate the comment though. :-) I'm in a rush to get my sociology paper done before Tuesday, but if you're not poppin out a baby or anything Sam is going camping the 12th-14th of August.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Which Family Guy character are you?
**EDIT** (11.6.10) I think I got Stewie, but the quiz/graphic was delted.

COMMENTS:

[info]gunnermom3 wrote:
Jul. 25th, 2005 04:24 pm (local)
help...
hey I can't ever get these things to go into my journal how do you get it to work?
[info]yoshi_rose wrote:
Jul. 27th, 2005 01:20 am (local)
Re: help...
hey, i just highlight the code it gives me press ctrl c, go to update journal put the cursor in the body of the journal entry and press ctrl z... then i type whatever i want if anything and click post. hope i helped.
[info]pink_daisies wrote:
Jul. 27th, 2005 01:46 pm (local)
Amy...
I have Friday, Saturday, and Sunday all free. Would you like to do something? Swimming, or a movie... I'm sorry it's been so long, but I'm feeling more socialable now. I'd love to see you when you have some time too.
[info]yoshi_rose wrote:
Jul. 28th, 2005 12:37 am (local)
Re: Amy...
I'd love to do something on Friday. Sam has duty and I'll be all alone. Swimming Or a movie OR both sounds good to me. My e-mail is drama221@yahoo.com. I have school all day Thursday so that's probably the best way to communicate. I'll call you whenever a good time for you is on Friday. :-) Thanks for writing.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Something I Wrote During Soc. Class

My sociology teacher was talking about ethnicity and how when you hear your native language or music that's from "the old country" it gives your heart a little fuzzy feeling. She's sicilian and greek. She gave an example of Germans at Octoberfest with their kilbasa (sorry I probably really messed up the spelling on that word)... brats, beer, and polka. I think that's the one that I'd associate with the most. Still, the topic made me think about how even though I was brought up with the German ethnicity being the closest to something I could call my own that any time I hear something Asian, or Russian, or Mexican I get a certain feeling that somehow makes me feel connected to that particular culture. I think, and have always thought that everyone was connected somehow. I wish that I could put into words the sense I get when I'm surrounded by a large number of people who all have the same culture/ethnicity. No matter how hard I try though I am not a part of it, unless it's American, like Independence Day or Thanksgiving or something. Maybe someday I will know enough of another language and the history of the people that speak that language, so maybe I will be able to sneak my way into a set ethnic group. OR, maybe I'll live somewhere long enough to have a culture of my own. The military has it's own culture... I don't just want a culture though, I want ethnicity too.. other than American. American isn't bad, it's just that since I'm in America I want something older. :-P


COMMENTS:

(Anonymous) wrote:
Jul. 22nd, 2005 03:34 pm (local)
to me it sounds like you are desperatly trying to be someone that your not. You do have an ethnic group, just like yes I'm American I am also Irish and Polish. You need to figure out who you are not who you want to pretend to be or make people think you are. Why is it so hard just to be you?
[info]yoshi_rose wrote:
Jul. 23rd, 2005 01:03 am (local)
i still want to be me, i just want to have something more than the english language and the german polka. but it probably stems deeper than that, to what extent i have no idea. and it's hard to be "me" because me has almost always been who other people want me to be. don't know how to fix it...

Saturday, July 16, 2005









What Is Your Best Sexual Skill?
Name:
Age:
Sex:
Sexuality:
Flirting Skill Level - 16%
Kissing Skill Level - 70%
Cudding Skill Level - 57%
Sex Skill Level - 74%
Why They Love You You are wet and wild.
Why They Hate You You won't take your socks off.
This Quiz by lady_wintermoon - Taken 2996369 Times.
New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology and Horoscopes

Friday, July 15, 2005

The Cycle

Sam got home on Tuesday night. When I walked in the apt. from my sociology class he was there. It was a pleasant surprise. Of course now that he's home things are back to how they usually are with us. FRUSTRATING. I keep meeting people who are young and divorced and happy. It's discouraging. I don't want a divorce, but things I'm seeing are sort of glorifying it. Marriage is so much work, but I know that if I were to get a divorce that I would just end up getting married again and that I would have to "work" with someone else. On the surface it may seem like I could make it with a "nicer" person, but Sam was a "nicer" person until we got married, and he still has his moments now. I don't know if you can ever truly know another person. For Sam and I it would help a lot if either one of us knew ourselves. We don't though, nor do we know what we want for ourselves. It complicates everything. School is going great. I love my classes, I love meeting knew people! I am usally in an awesome mood on school days. It's refreshing. I'm having a lazy day, as much as I like school it wears me out! So the next day I just bum around. It's fun but it sort of makes me feel counterproductive. I am leaning towards a sociology major. I'm still not positive but that's what I'm thinking that I want. That's just for my associates degree though, I plan and getting a bachelor's degree after that. I suppose I should do something around the house to earn my keep. Not that I have to, but it's a nice thing to do.


COMMENTS:
(Anonymous) wrote:
Jul. 15th, 2005 08:54 pm (local)
hey there Amy! It sounds like things are never going to get better for you in that relationship, yeah you may have to work at marriage with someone else, but you need that someone else to want to work with you and by the sounds, Sam doesn't wanna work on the marriage. He has been like this for a LONGGGG time now, I remember when you were in VA he was the same way, I honestly don't think hes going to change. He will end up making you sick Amy, I know it may sound crazy but my aunt did the same thing and she has medical issues now because of it. You need a healthy, loving environment for that baby of yours, and by the sounds hes not getting that. Everyone has problems but I think Sam has A LOT of growing up t do and he isn't ready to do that... Its good your in school, thats a positive thing for you and you need that. How is Austin liking the babysitter?!?! does Sam pay any attention to him or do anything with him?? Zach is still only good to play with Bradley, everything else seems to be my job,, haha, he gets the easy stuff and I do all the hard work... but he loves his mommy more too, haha! Well I hope things work out for you, you think about that babys future, and make sure hes happy. Take care, talk to you soon!
~Erica~

Friday, July 8, 2005

Beauty

I was bored in spanish today.  We were going over conjugations, and I learned those and still retain some knowledge of how they should be done.  Anyway some things got me to thinking and since I don't have a laptop to write in here as I think the random thouhts that I think I decided to write it down in a little notebook and then transfer it to here.  Here it is.
Beauty is such a cool thing!  It's your own concept.  True there is some general idea of what beauty should be, but it's still just anyone's opinion.  I have seen a few movies that I consider to be beautiful.--What Dreams May Come-The moral, the acting, the scenes, and the emotions it all conveys=BEAUTIFUL!  Meet Joe Black-It's very similar to What Dreams May Come.  It's about the only movie who's love scene doesn't make me uncomfortable...  American Beauty-The title says it all---Hero-Wow.  I cannot describe the beauty of this movie to the extent that it should be described!  It's like a piece of art--a moving piece of art made into movie form.  I know films are art, but this thing is in it's own category.  It's incredible.  The fact that you have to listen to the whole thing in Mandarin and read English subtitles means nothing when you compare it to the fact that your life will be better having experienced the movie.  Mr. and Mrs. Smith-It's nowhere near as deep as the other movies.  It has a completely different mood, but it is in fact, beautiful. 
Beauty in nature is an awesome thing.  On the Fourth of July I was on the beach and it was after dark...  As the waves came to crash into the shore, they sort of had a glow.  It was both eerie and majestic.  Another beauty I've been exposed to since leaving Wisconsin is snowcapped mountains.  There are so many things in the world that can take your breath away.  Hmmm...  I think Weeping Willow Trees are beautiful too. 
People---People are a difficult thing for me to put beauty on.  I think it takes physical appearance plus an aura.--Brad Pitt  and Angelina Joliee both have each of these qualities, in my opinion.  There is at least one person in each of my current classes that have each of these qualities.  That's actually what got me going on this whole beauty kick. 
I'm fascinated by the fact that I can apreciate beauty but not want it(the object that is beautiful) for myself.  (Frankly I think that comes from having a beautiful son and a "beautiful" husband--I think he's hot, and the beauty is in large part to an aura thing from him, and I don't usually refer to it as beauty...)  Reguardless, it (beauty) is such a neat thing to be able to observe!

Thursday, July 7, 2005

A Strange RememBRANTs

We belong, we belong to the light 
Many times I’ve tried to tell you 
Many times I’ve cried alone 
Always I’m surprised how well you 
Cut my feelings to the bone 
Don’t want to leave you really 
I’ve invested too much time 
To give you up that easy 
To the doubts that complicate your mind 


Chorus: 
We belong to the light We belong to the thunder 
We belong to the sound of the words We’ve both fallen under 
Whatever we deny or embrace For worse or for better 
We belong, we belong We belong together 


Maybe it’s a sign of weakness 
When I don’t know what to say 
Maybe I just wouldn’t know What to do with my strength anyway 
Have we become a habit 
Do we distort the facts 
Now there’s no looking forward 
Now there’s no turning back 
When you say 
(chorus) 


Close your eyes and try to sleep now 
Close your eyes and try to dream 
Clear your mind and do your best 
To try and wash the palette clean 
We can’t begin to know it 
How much we really care 
I hear your voice inside me 
I see your face everywhere 


Still you say 
(chorus) 


From the album tropico Written by: d. navarro & r. lowen 


Happy B-day to someone who will never read this and never care... and that's okay. 
But sometimes memories hurt and make us wonder. 


SO I'll remember when I put on my tennis shoes and I boarded the plane.
I touched down in VA, the land of the hurricanes, in the middle of a sunny day... 

God -- weren't you lookin' down over me? 
Yeah. I had a first class ticket but was blue as a girl could be.