Sam got home on Tuesday night. When I walked in the apt. from my sociology class he was there. It was a pleasant surprise. Of course now that he's home things are back to how they usually are with us. FRUSTRATING. I keep meeting people who are young and divorced and happy. It's discouraging. I don't want a divorce, but things I'm seeing are sort of glorifying it. Marriage is so much work, but I know that if I were to get a divorce that I would just end up getting married again and that I would have to "work" with someone else. On the surface it may seem like I could make it with a "nicer" person, but Sam was a "nicer" person until we got married, and he still has his moments now. I don't know if you can ever truly know another person. For Sam and I it would help a lot if either one of us knew ourselves. We don't though, nor do we know what we want for ourselves. It complicates everything. School is going great. I love my classes, I love meeting knew people! I am usally in an awesome mood on school days. It's refreshing. I'm having a lazy day, as much as I like school it wears me out! So the next day I just bum around. It's fun but it sort of makes me feel counterproductive. I am leaning towards a sociology major. I'm still not positive but that's what I'm thinking that I want. That's just for my associates degree though, I plan and getting a bachelor's degree after that. I suppose I should do something around the house to earn my keep. Not that I have to, but it's a nice thing to do.
COMMENTS:
hey there Amy! It sounds like things are never going to get better for you in that relationship, yeah you may have to work at marriage with someone else, but you need that someone else to want to work with you and by the sounds, Sam doesn't wanna work on the marriage. He has been like this for a LONGGGG time now, I remember when you were in VA he was the same way, I honestly don't think hes going to change. He will end up making you sick Amy, I know it may sound crazy but my aunt did the same thing and she has medical issues now because of it. You need a healthy, loving environment for that baby of yours, and by the sounds hes not getting that. Everyone has problems but I think Sam has A LOT of growing up t do and he isn't ready to do that... Its good your in school, thats a positive thing for you and you need that. How is Austin liking the babysitter?!?! does Sam pay any attention to him or do anything with him?? Zach is still only good to play with Bradley, everything else seems to be my job,, haha, he gets the easy stuff and I do all the hard work... but he loves his mommy more too, haha! Well I hope things work out for you, you think about that babys future, and make sure hes happy. Take care, talk to you soon!
~Erica~
