Alone

I feel alone, and without direction.
I talk to God, usually I hear him, right now, I hear him a little, maybe?  I don't think he wants me to be with Jeremy...  I don't think I want to be with Jeremy really.  But in my humanness I feel the need to make it work, to prove to myself that it can.  I feel like I need to be validated by human love.  I dislike that about myself.

I don't know how I'm going to make a life for myself and the kids by myself.  I know I'll have God, but I'm SO scared.  I know others have gone through worse, and I know that I'll make it, and maybe even come out better in the end...  I guess I just feel like I'm driving through the fog.  :-S