Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Is the Past Repeating Itself?

I'm still in the process of moving all of my blogs to blogger and during this process I get to read over four years of a completely unhealthy relationship.  I came upon THIS and can't help but notice how that is EXACTLY how I feel in my relationship with Jeremy right now.  :-(  He sleeps for 12-14 hours a day, or he goes to bed just a couple hours before I wake up and then sleeps until he has to go to work.  He plays video games or watches shows when he's not sleeping or working.  Once in a while I like the shows he's watching... so...  Two hours and fifteen minutes a week were doing something together...  Otherwise I get nothing.  He does try to hug and kiss me before he goes to work, but when that's ALL I get I can't help but wanting more.  No sex for three months... and honestly less than ten times in two years...  What is this?

I can't stand the thought of splitting up my family.  I have so many hopes, dreams, desires based around a stable, cohesive family but I've been so sad and upset about my relationship with Jeremy lately that it's hard to function. I wish there was an easy answer.  I wish Jeremy listened to my "cries for help" and made an effort to change.  I wish he could see his addiction and that it negatively impacts those "closest" to him.  :-(

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