I miss the baby I didn't get to know. Sometimes I feel like I may "mini-ly" obsess over it. (If anyone comes upon this blog "mini-ly" means a little... sort of, in amyspeak.)
I just don't really know how to deal with that I was excited and in baby-love. I know that there are reasons it happened and all that jazz, but I feel a loss. :-S
Not too often, but sometimes I think about what he/or she (since I assume it was a girl due to some of the crazy things that were happening to me hormonaly) would have looked like or acted like... and then I hear a name called at church or in the grocery store, and it's the name I chose for the baby who wasn't meant to be... and I chose the name to help me put a name to my grief and deal with it, but when I hear it I look and wonder if my baby might have been similar to the one who was just called. I smile though because I know if she had the chance she would have been awesome.
I'm okay.
Hopefully someday I'll get the chance to bring another wonderful being into the world. And I'm so glad for the two I get to fully enjoy right now. :-)
I just don't really know how to deal with that I was excited and in baby-love. I know that there are reasons it happened and all that jazz, but I feel a loss. :-S
Not too often, but sometimes I think about what he/or she (since I assume it was a girl due to some of the crazy things that were happening to me hormonaly) would have looked like or acted like... and then I hear a name called at church or in the grocery store, and it's the name I chose for the baby who wasn't meant to be... and I chose the name to help me put a name to my grief and deal with it, but when I hear it I look and wonder if my baby might have been similar to the one who was just called. I smile though because I know if she had the chance she would have been awesome.
I'm okay.
Hopefully someday I'll get the chance to bring another wonderful being into the world. And I'm so glad for the two I get to fully enjoy right now. :-)
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