Stressing

Yesterday Sam went to look at "motorcycles" and ended up coming home with one. It's a Ninja Z6XR? I think. Anyway it's lime green and really fast. He took me for a short ride to the video store on it. I was okay on the way there, but I prayed for safety the entire ride home. I was terrified. I'm not really a motorbike kind of person. But yeah, it's gonna end up costing us like $16,000.00 at the most, $9,000.00 at the least. But still, Sam makes under $17,000.00 a year. Ugh!!! And I thought he didn't spend enough time at home before.

On top of that I feel like I am coming into a delayed post pardem depression. I think it's too long after my pregnancy to technically call it that, but that's what it feels like. I have been having all of these paranoias and aggressive feelings, not toward the baby, but toward myself. It's like I can't keep the house clean enough, the laundry is never ending, I want to help with the income, but I don't want to lose time spent with my family... :-P

I miss having a best friend under 10 minutes away from me. I've been slowly but surely making more friends out here, but none of them compare to Kathy. I don't want to replace her, I just want someone I can call any time and be completely comfortable with, and get away with when I need to get away. I miss my best buds from VA too. :-(

On a happy note, it was in the mid seventies a few days ago, I layed out by the pool and got a tan, it was awesome. Oh, another happy thing... I submitted a poem to a poetry contest and it's in the semi-finals and people want to publish it in a book! I'm honored. It's so cool. 

Austin is three months old now. He can shake a rattle and get on his knees, like he's going to crawl, but he doesn't moves his arms, so he just ends up doing a wheel barrel sort of thing. He can sit for just under twenty seconds, and he's trying to roll over from his back to his front, but he gets stuck on his arm. He's been able to roll over from tummy to back for some time now. I love him!

Recently I began a bible study, actually just last Thursday. There's really no one my age in it, but that's alright, I get along with older people anyway. Plus not too many people my age have kids, so I can relate with people with a few more years than me.

Hopefully my Tricare Prime (The insurance that will fully cover me) kicks in soon, and I can get tested for allergies, and see a psychatrist, and go to the dentist! I think that will make a few things slightly less stressful. :-)

Hope everyone who reads this is doing well, if you're reading it and haven't written in a while, write something! I like to hear about your lives too. And for those of you who do write, keep it up! :-)